In the Country We Love: My Family Divided

Chapter 13 focuses on the beginning of Guerrero’s journey to better mental health. She describes having sought professional help for depression and self-harm before her suicide attempt, at Brian’s urging. Her first session with Lorraine, a Latina therapist serving underprivileged communities, sets her at ease. Guerrero tells Lorraine about her problem with cutting, her family’s deportation, her financial struggles, her failures at school, and her alcoholism. She also admits to feeling guilty for alienating her parents. The sessions do not keep Guerrero from having suicidal thoughts, but they do keep her from acting upon them, as evidenced by her night on the rooftop of her building.

Guerrero’s path to mental wellness contains setbacks. A new job as a cocktail waitress exacerbates her drinking problem, while competition with colleagues over tips leads to verbal and physical altercations at work. Guerrero quits her job, enrolls in paralegal courses at Bunker Hill Community College, and takes a part-time position as a receptionist at a law firm. With Lorraine’s help, she comes to see that acting is her dream career, not law. Moreover, she realizes that her fear of failing has held her back from pursuing her true passion. During a particularly enabling session, Lorraine tells Guerrero that she is more than the sum of her mistakes, and that her failures do not have to define her.