If He Had Been with Me

Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussion of death, mental illness, and ableism.

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. The novel opens with a flash-forward to Finny’s death. How did this narrative choice affect your reading experience? 

2. How does If He Had Been With Me compare to other young adult romances you’ve read, such as John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars? What makes this story’s exploration of teenage love and loss unique?

3. Throughout the novel, we witness Autumn’s evolution from naive freshman to complex young woman. Which moments in her journey stood out as most pivotal to her character development? Have you read If Only I Had Told Her, the companion novel to this one? If so, how does Autumn’s arc in that novel compare?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Autumn wears tiaras as a symbol of independence and rebellion. What objects or clothing have you used to express your identity or independence? How did others react?

2. The novel explores how memories can be

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