I Will Save You

Matt de la Pena’s young adult novel I Will Save You (2010) follows the narrator, Kidd Ellison, after he runs away from a group home to live and work at a campground on the beach. Harboring memories of a traumatic past, he forges new relationships and fosters old ones that test his self-understanding. Through flashbacks, dreams, and journal entries mixed with the present day, the narrative explores themes such as The Impact of Trauma on Mental Health and Identity, The Struggle for Healing and a New Beginning, and The Power of Human Connection. I Will Save You was named an ALA-YALSA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers, a Junior Library Guild Selection, and a finalist for the 2011 Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award.

This guide references the 2010 Delacorte Press print edition of the text.

Content Warning: The source material contains descriptions of suicide, domestic abuse, mental health conditions, alcohol addiction, and violence.

Plot Summary

I Will Save You begins on a summer night. Kidd Ellison, the narrator, stands amid a crowd awaiting the grunion run when thousands of fish migrate onto the beach. When he spots the girl he loves, Olivia, with his ex-best friend, Devon, up on the cliff, he tears them apart, ultimately pushing Devon over the edge onto the beach below. As people frantically call for help, Kidd watches Devon’s motionless body and thinks of freedom.

Kidd wakes in what he believes is a darkened prison. Sore everywhere, Kidd’s arms, legs, and head are strapped down. Through a series of flashbacks, dreams, and journal entries, Kidd pieces together his abusive family history and the summer events leading up to the night of the grunion run. This culminates in his realization that Devon is not another person, but a part of himself.

A few years prior, after enduring a beating from her husband, Kidd’s mother winds up in the hospital with the resolve to fix their lives. A witness to the abuse, Kidd gives up the name his father gave him. Soon after, his mother kills his father before turning the gun on herself. Alone, Kidd struggles with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and is placed in Horizons, a group home for troubled youth. There, he “meets” Devon, who prompts him to read a letter from his mother, explaining everything. Devon’s mood is unpredictable, often resulting in dangerous behavior. However, Kidd is drawn to him because their friendship alleviates his loneliness. Kidd’s counselor, Maria, and another therapist at Horizons encourage Kidd to break ties with Devon. Meanwhile, Maria dates a man named Red, who visits her and befriends Kidd. After some time, Red requests that Kidd be allowed to work for him at a campground. The request is denied because Kidd is considered too at-risk. A year later, Kidd runs away from Horizons and finds his way to Red’s campground, where Red hires him to do maintenance work. Despite his struggles with addiction to alcohol and coping with his son’s death, Red becomes a mentor and father figure to Kidd.

Kidd develops a crush on Olivia, a wealthy girl staying at the campground for the summer. She always wears a ski cap covering part of her face because she suffers from a rare skin disease. As a result, she struggles with her own mental health. Despite their differences, Kidd and Olivia are drawn to each other and soon develop a trusting relationship. Meanwhile, Devon reappears, encouraging Kidd to revert to their risky and criminal behavior, like shoplifting. Devon resents Olivia and her wealth, believing that the wealthy are privileged and entitled. He harbors dreams of revolution against the upper class. He continually reminds Kidd of his faults and doubts and compels Kidd to venture into a riptide in the ocean despite his inability to swim. Kidd almost drowns. This, combined with Devon’s pressure on Kidd to cut Olivia out of his life, makes Kidd push Devon away and forge an even closer bond with Olivia. Devon turns his back on Kidd and exacts revenge by making threatening advances toward Olivia.

The narrative returns to the opening scene on the cliff, but with altered details. This time, it is Devon on the beach and Kidd on the cliff with Olivia. In their ensuing fight, Kidd narrates first that he watches Devon’s body fall, and that he himself lies motionless with the grunion wriggling on top of him. As Kidd’s dreams morph into reality, he wakens from a three-day coma to the bright lights of a hospital where an entourage of medical staff attends to him. Olivia, Red, Maria, and the Horizons therapist look on. Through this chaotic scene, Kidd realizes that Devon is another personality he developed to cope with the trauma of his mother’s death and to compartmentalize his violent urges. By pushing Devon off the cliff, Kidd is free from the violent part of himself and recognizes that he is stronger than he thinks. For the first time, he envisions a future for himself.