I Was Their American Dream: A Graphic Memoir

“When I was growing up, my mom would always say, ‘You have to be better than us.’ She never explained what she meant by that. But I understood. I had to somehow rise above my parents’ life in America.”

Gharib shows how many first-generation Americans feel pressure to succeed and make sure that their parents’ sacrifices were not in vain. This can be difficult when communities of color historically face many obstacles that white communities do not. Gharib also shows the power of the unspoken: Though her mother never explained the meaning behind her words, Gharib understood her message.

“Why is she so brown!?! Where are her blue eyes like her daddy? Oh well…I’ll call her ‘brownie’!”

Gharib is conditioned by her family to strive for whiteness, which is conflated with Americanness. According to this logic, having darker shades of brown skin takes one further away from whiteness and thus further away from being a “true” American. This is an example of colorism, in which dark-skinned people of color are more severely discriminated against than light-skinned people of color. Using hyperbole, or exaggerated language, Gharib depicts how her father laments the fact that the infant Gharib does not have features that approximate whiteness.

“They were on their way to the…American Dream! And to my parents that meant: A big house with a white picket fence! A two car garage! Credit cards! Luxury handbags! Enough money to send back home to the parents! A Mercedes Benz or a Lexus! Annual trips to Disney World! Ralph Lauren Polo shirts for the whole family! Kids that were American—

but not too American.”

Gharib’s parents’ idea of the American Dream is built around material goods. These goods, like a two-car garage and white picket fence, conjure the image of a white suburban family. Gharib qualifies that the list represents the American Dream “to my parents.” Gharib herself resists defining the American Dream. Gharib uses exclamations for exaggeration and to convey