I Must Betray You

“Bunu spoke often of vibrant what-ifs. I pondered them in my notebook. How could we paint or sketch creatively? If the West was a box of colorful crayons, my life was a case of dull pencil leads.”

The contrast between the freedoms enjoyed (and likely taken for granted) by Americans and others in democratic nations is conveyed in this analogy. This quote also depicts Bunu as an optimist, hopeful that the future of Romania might be better than the present. Bunu’s words are often the source of inspiration for Cristian and here prove thought-provoking, though Cristian, at this moment, does not share Bunu’s hopefulness.

“Philips were listening devices and rumored to be everywhere: hidden in walls, telephones, ashtrays. So all families followed the same mantra: At home we speak in whispers.”

The constant threat of surveillance is an important source of tension throughout the novel. Families have no way of knowing whether they are being surveilled, and therefore the wisest course of action is to assume that they are. As a result, the home is not a private place, not a source of escape or comfort. Instead, citizens tread carefully, circumventing the potential listening devices by speaking softly, causing noise interference by increasing the volume of the radio or running water, and communicating through writing instead of speaking.

“I was smart. A great pretender. What if I turned the tables? What if I secretly spied on the agent, somehow gathered information that put me a step ahead? I’d know the game and outplay him. That’s right, I thought I could outwit Paddle Hands.”

Thinking he may be able to outwit the Securitate is one way Cristian attempts to assuage his guilt over spying. If he can thwart them, then he can maintain his loyalty to his friends and family. Here Cristian appears eager and quick-thinking, but his naivete shines through.