I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

“Saint Olga, the perfect Mexican daughter. Sometimes I wanted to scream at her until something switched on in her brain. But the only time I ever asked her why she didn’t move out or go to a real college, she told me to leave her alone in a voice so weak and brittle, I never wanted to ask her again. Now I’ll never know what Olga would have become. Maybe she would have surprised us all.” 

From the very first pages of the novel, Julia establishes the stark differences between her and Olga; namely that Olga was the perfect, favorite daughter, and Julia is not. Julia’s thoughts here act as foreshadowing: Olga’s secrets reveal an entirely different, imperfect side of Olga that Julia, nor her parents, ever knew. The only time Julia did ask about Olga’s reasons for staying at home, Julia was completely unaware that Olga was waiting for her boyfriend, Dr. Castillo, to end his marriage and choose a life with Olga. 

“I know it’s wrong to hate your parents, especially when your sister is dead, but I can’t help it, so I keep it to myself, and the resentment grows through me like weeds. I thought deaths were supposed to bring people together, but I guess that’s just what happens on TV.” 

The grief of losing Olga has taken its toll on everyone in the Reyes household, and unfortunately, it has resulted in growing resentment. Julia and her parents have no real coping mechanisms in place for them to process this trauma, leading to more arguments and misunderstandings. Julia later identifies Olga’s death as a major trigger for her worsening anxiety and depression.

“You know, Julia, you’re always causing trouble, creating problems for your family. Now that she’s dead, all of a sudden you want to know everything about her? You hardly even spoke to her. Why didn’t you ask her anything when she was alive? Maybe you wouldn’t have to be here, asking me questions about her love life.” 

Angie, Olga’s best friend, is the only person who knows about Olga’s secrets at the time of her death. Knowing how much more pain they would cause Olga’s family, she keeps them to herself, even when Julia presses her for information. She is also grieving the loss of her friend, and she’s deflecting through accusations against Julia.