Hunger of Memory

Rodriguez’s dark complexion is a source of stress for him and agony for his mother. Rodriguez recalled stories about how pregnant Latina women would sometime take folk precautions to ensure that their children would have lighter complexions. Rodriguez is made keenly aware of the downfalls of his complexion, which makes him instantly recognizable as a minority, as his mother frets about letting him out in the sun lest he tan and darken even more. She also stipulates that she does not want him to be in a job that would require a uniform, and she urges him to avoid wearing clothing that looks like a uniform, lest someone mistake him for a Latino laborer or servant. Rodriguez feels that his complexion makes him ugly and awkward as he grows up.

However, the summer that Rodriguez works in construction, he is out in the sun several hours each day. He begins to accept his dark complexion and learns not to let it rule him; he even takes up jogging, which leaves his face darker than it was when he was a child. Later, as a professor, when Rodriguez brings up his reservations about teaching a minority literature class to some students of the Chicano Movement, he believes this pegs him as a “coconut,” or dark on the outside, but white inside.