How To Talk To Anyone

When attending social events, the approach between a casual attendee and a politically-minded individual differs. A politically-minded individual thinks in terms of a “Six-Point Party Checklist”—Who, When, What, Why, Where, and How. Knowing who will be present at an event allows for targeted networking, with business cards and notepad on hand for jotting down details. Understanding the real reason behind events and the interests of attendees also prepares one for meaningful conversations. Finally, a follow-up strategy ensures that new connections are solidified.

Making a strong first impression influences how one is perceived: One should pause to assess a scene before taking decisive action, this pause commanding attention. This quality is cultivated, with politicians in particular employing a technique called “Rubberneck the Room.” Upon arrival at an event, they stop in a doorway and slowly scan the room to gauge the atmosphere.

In social situations, it’s often more advantageous to be proactive than wait for others to approach. For example, politicians actively scan a room and choose whom to engage with based on potential benefits. Being the “Chooser, not the Choosee” enables one to take control of interactions. Like previous points about eye contact, one study highlighted the importance of actively seeking connections: Participants who utilized silent eye contact could identify qualities in people that were personal to them, even in a crowd.