How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog

The main thematic and symbolic concerns of “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” are introduced through Mali’s use of simile within the poem’s title (see: Literary Devices “Figurative Language: Simile and Metaphor”). Mali’s stark comparison of romantic partnership to pet ownership creates a double entendre that permeates the entire poem. A double entendre is a subtle figure of speech that creates two different interpretations out of a singular word, phrase, or sentence. The first instance occurs within the first three lines of the poem: “First of all, it’s a big responsibility, / especially in a city like New York. / So think long and hard before deciding on love” (Lines 1-3). The decision Mali references can be interpreted as two different types of commitment: adopting a dog, or entering into a relationship with another person. Mali characterizes this commitment as a “big responsibility” (Line 1), underscoring the idea that love and pet ownership are both joyous, but promising to take care of another living thing is a serious endeavor.

Mali continually looks at both sides of the coin, using contradiction, or the combination of conflicting ideas and imagery, to expose how love is a paradox (see: Themes “Love as Unpredictable”). So, while Mali contends that falling in love is not a decision that should be made lightly, he argues that it also “gives you a sense of security” (Line 4). In the second half of Stanza 1, love is characterized as both the protector (“Who knows what love could do in its own defense?” [Line 9]) and the protected (“you have a leash on love” [Line 6]), framing love as a mutual and equitable exchange (see: Themes “Love as Reciprocal”).

Stanzas 2 and 3 introduce the duality of companionship and dependency found within many relationships. Love is described as something “warm” (Line 10) that “lies between you and lives and breathes / and makes funny noises” (Lines 11-12). By likening romantic human connection to owning a dog, Mali adds an air of innocence to an otherwise sexual image of two partners lying together. Love is described as comforting and also needy in the same breath, challenging the aforementioned image of love. Mali’s constant contradictions keep readers engaged, increasing the pace of the poem to highlight how quickly love grows and changes (see: Themes “Love as a Learning Experience”). Stanza 3 exposes the duality of time spent together and apart in a relationship, complicating the dynamics of falling in love even further and highlighting the level of responsibility Mali introduced from the onset of the poem.

Due to the rapid pace and heavy use of contradiction throughout the beginning of the poem, Mali gives readers pause in Stanza 4, the shortest stanza at only two lines in length (see: Literary Devices “Form and Meter”). The diction in Stanza 4 is childlike and humorous, as Mali questions, “Is love good all the time? No! No! / Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love” (Lines 19-20). This admonishment is one colloquially used on animals, scolding them lightly for misbehaving. Mali adds levity into the otherwise complex poem through this diction choice, showing that while love might be a nuisance sometimes, momentary feelings of irritation will never alter a strong romantic bond.

The double entendre established in Stanza 1 is reinforced within the repeated sentence structure of Stanza 5 (see: Literary Devices “Repetition”). Mali writes, “Love makes messes. / Love leaves you little surprises here and there. / Love needs lots of cleaning up after” (Lines 21-23). The double meanings again begin to overwhelm readers, appearing one right after the next in rapid succession. Mali continues to use repetition in Lines 24 and 25, beginning each new line with the word “Sometimes,” furthering the claim that romantic love requires the same amount of upkeep as taking care of an animal.

Mali’s comparisons lead readers to the conclusion that love is a learning experience (see: Themes “Love as a Learning Experience”), and while the first 5 stanzas detail the quirks and little annoyances of falling in love, Stanzas 6-8 expose the unexpected pleasures that come with letting a new person into one’s life. Mali articulates, “Sometimes love just wants to go out for a nice long walk” (Line 29). It will “[p]ull you in different directions […] But love makes you meet people wherever you go. / People who have nothing in common but love” (Lines 31, 34-35). Opening up to love means opening up to new and diverse experiences, experiences that Mali contends would not be possible without taking a chance on love despite the immediate anxieties about the overall responsibility of entering into a relationship. Love fosters growth, in both the easy and hard times. Love will “leave you panting, breathless […] love loves you and never stops” (Lines 31, 40). Mali’s original comparison, that falling in love is like owning a dog, is brought into focus by the end of the poem, no longer as contradictory as it originally appears due to Mali’s adept handling of the themes of love. Both facets of this comparison establish a relationship between two living things, relationships that require maintenance, care, and ultimately, unconditional love.