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50 pages 1 hour read

How Does It Feel?

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2023

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Themes

Emotional Complexity

In some ways, the novel is an investigation of the power of emotion to impede logical thought. All of the characters allow their feelings to dominate their better judgment: Mendax falls for the human assassin, Callie, while she, in turn, falls for the deadly prince; the brown rat, Walter, and the panther, Lord Alastair Cain, risk their lives to protect Callie, for reasons they do not understand; the Queen is blinded by her hatred of humans; and Callie’s Seelie family is swayed by ancient rituals and feuds that defy common sense. Both Callie and Mendax struggle against the enormity of their feelings, especially for each other, while at the same time they are distressed by their lack of feeling, unable to experience compassion. How Does It Feel? becomes as much a taunt as a title. Ultimately, feeling anything for others entails a sadomasochistic risk within the novel, one that occasionally, if not always, pays off: Mendax and Callie find pleasure in the pain of their relationship.

Both Callie and Mendax grapple with their inability to feel much—for themselves (in Callie’s case) or for others (in Mendax’s case). When Callie is trapped in Mendax’s dungeon, she worries her wounds in order to feel pain, a “reminder” of the terror and abuse she has faced (1).

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