How Dare the Sun Rise

The police knocked on the door early one morning to tell Princesse—as Rachel did not know enough English to understand—that Prudence had been in an accident. A van hit him while he was riding his bike, and he was in a coma. When they arrived at the hospital, Sandra saw that her father was bandaged from head to toe and hooked up to machines. While Prudence remained in a coma, Sandra returned to school. Now, she was enrolled at Thomas Jefferson High—a school for seventh through 12th grades. Most of the students were immigrants and refugees and, once again, Sandra could not make friends and the teasing got worse. Sandra noticed that many of her classmates “seemed angry, unhappy, and poor” and “wolfed down their food” as though they were starving (118).

Sandra refrained from talking to her mother about her problems at school, as Rachel was having problems of her own. Moreover, Prudence was still in a coma. The family visited him at the hospital every evening. Weeks passed and his chances of waking grew slimmer. Doctors asked Rachel if they should take him off life support; she refused. Sandra grew angry with God and angrier with her family for maintaining faith.

At school, Sandra struggled to understand her identity. She realized that, despite being from Africa and living in America, she was not considered African American. Her speech patterns led to accusations from African American kids that she was trying to sound “white.”

Despite these challenges, Sandra did well in her classes, especially math and science. Sandra’s English as a Second Language teacher, Mrs. Khoji, took an interest in her and, for eighth grade, helped her apply to a private Catholic girls’ school, Our Lady of Mercy. Sandra went to the school to take the admissions exam. She was in awe of and intimidated by the bucolic campus and the large building, which reminded her of a castle. As much as she despised Jefferson High, she knew she could relate to the students there; this school felt like another, more exciting world. She now felt both hopeful and still angry at the world.

Three months after Prudence went into a coma, he woke up. However, he could not yet speak. He continued to convalesce in the hospital throughout the winter. Once his speech returned, it became apparent he had lost parts of his memory, particularly his short-term memory. Sandra was proud of her father for fighting his way out of a coma after having been through so much in his lifetime.

One of Prudence’s doctors was Kenyan. He became a family friend and advised them on which markets offered African food. He then introduced them to other African families in Rochester, including an African woman named Mariana who helped Sandra braid her hair. Sandra felt much more comfortable with her new hairstyle, which helped her fit in better.

That summer, Sandra spent more time with Mabel and the church youth group. One day, the group invited her on a camping trip, which Sandra found strange. Why, she wondered, would anyone want to sleep on the ground when they had comfortable beds? Nevertheless, Sandra went on the trip. On the first night, she awoke and found blood in her sleeping bag. She realized she had gotten her period. She got up and told Mabel the news. Mabel congratulated her, then called over their chaperone, Miss Trish, who was surprised that Sandra, who was 14, was getting her period for the first time. She then asked the girls if they had any hygienic products after washing both Sandra’s pajamas and sleeping bag in the lake. By the time Sandra entered eighth grade, her body developed breasts and hips, and she began wearing bras.

Sandra began attending Our Lady of Mercy. Most of her classmates were friendly; they were also mostly white. She noticed that some of the girls seemed to be sizing her up, but she soon made friends: Leah, Mackenzie, and Shantavia. Leah and Mackenzie were white and shy, while Shantavia was Black and “a bit nerdy” (126). When the group talked about American popular culture, however, Sandra felt lost.

In the cafeteria, Sandra noticed that the black girls all sat together at lunchtime. Sandra sensed they felt that she, too, should be sitting with them. But when she did interact with them, they made her feel as though she sounded “white.” She asked what this meant, and to fit in, Sandra tried to talk “Black” and frequently changed how she spoke depending on who she was around. She was also expected to already know certain aspects of American history—particularly slavery and civil rights—because she was Black even though, like her white classmates, she was just learning about them.

In other instances, her American classmates had absurd beliefs about her life in Africa, such as assuming she never owned shoes. Sandra realized many of their ideas about Africa came from television, which perpetuated the notion that all Africans were impoverished, diseased, and war-torn. Sometimes, she became so offended and humiliated that she cried. Other times, she took their ignorance in stride and poked fun at them by making up stories about wearing grass skirts and living in huts.

Conversely, Sandra had very good relationships with her teachers, who treated her like everyone else. One day, during a history class, everyone watched the movie Hotel Rwanda. Her teacher, who knew a little about Sandra’s personal history, warned her that the film might be difficult for her to watch. She insisted on seeing it but did leave class at one point. After the film, Sandra shared a little of her own story with the class. The other students were shocked but came closer to understanding her life and where she had come from.