Hole In My Life

Perhaps the greatest ongoing thread in the story is that of Gantos' obsession with becoming a great writer. Many of his youthful mistakes are driven by a need to find adventure, so that adventure can be turned into a novel. Gantos often remarks that he knew he had it in him to be a famous writer, but he lacked experience and guidance to turn his ideas into structured prose. He admits, “I decided that my biggest writing problem was that I didn’t have anything worthwhile to write about. Nothing interesting happened to me” (23).

Gantos’ youth is measured by the many excuses he comes up with to avoid hard work. One constant lament he makes, and one that drives his reckless decision making, is that he cannot be a writer until he has something to write about. In turn, he stalks dead writers instead of developing his own writing craft, tracing the footsteps of various authors (Crane, Hemingway, Bishop, Poe). Instead of keeping a journal of his own stories, he records mostly inspirational bits that he reads. Throughout the narrative, Gantos relies on famous writers to fuel his adventures and provide him purpose.