46 pages • 1 hour read
“Raymond was having that experience of feeling his physical self from the inside. That was the only way he knew how to describe it. Sometimes he was bizarrely aware of feeling too tall. Other times he thought he could feel his Adam’s apple protrude. Or he couldn’t take his mental eye off the slump of his own shoulders. Or he was so aware of his own facial expression—the set of his lips, for example—that it almost felt as though he were viewing himself from the outside.”
Raymond is extremely self-conscious. As this passage reveals, he judges himself by what he assumes other people think of him, and believes others see him as unacceptable. Raymond has low self-esteem; he is emotionally estranged from almost everyone he knows. He does not feel he belongs to any place, any family, or any group of people.
“‘And I also tried knocking on doors in our building,’ she said, ‘only on my own floor, though, because the stairs frightened me. To navigate them all by myself, I mean. I used to know all of my neighbors. I had friends, but I’m afraid that I’ve outlived them.’”
Millie describes losing acquaintances over the decades and her caretaker Luis suddenly, without explanation. She reveals how she has lost her world. She can no longer go to the second floor by herself and leaving the building alone is out of the question. In this way, Hyde shows that Raymond and Millie are kindred souls. Raymond’s only close friend has just moved across the country. Both he and Millie feel completely isolated.
“He struggled inwardly for a moment, floundering in the embarrassment of having been seen. It struck him odd that he’d had come to the home of a blind woman to be seen clearly. At long last.”
Hyde uses metaphors centered on vision, sight, and light. She shows her readers that seeing someone is not merely a physical act but also entails emotional awareness and connectedness. Though she is blind, Millie has the strongest emotional vision.
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