50 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section discusses suicidal ideation and disordered eating practices
This chapter establishes suicidal ideation and depression as Tate’s central conflicts in the text.
Tate recounts her journey to group therapy. She was a law student with an impressive internship and a history of using academic performance to bolster her self-worth and distract from her loneliness. She was also in an unsatisfying relationship with a man who showed little interest in her. Her parents and siblings are traditional Christian Texans, a lifestyle that contrasts with her liberal-leaning, artistic ways. Most importantly, her desire to control her life manifested in an eating disorder. She’s been in a 12-step program for years, but it’s not helping like it used to. Learning she was number one in her law class prompted her to consider dying by suicide, and she decided to try a new form of therapy.
At the end of a 12-step meeting for people with eating disorders, a woman named Marnie invites Christie to dinner. Marnie tells Christie about her therapist and the group-therapy meetings that have been helping her feel more self-actualized. Christie remembers the last time she saw a therapist. She was in high school, and her mother had told her not to share her private business.
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