64 pages • 2 hours read
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“There is, presently, no single test or scan that can diagnose dementia with complete accuracy. It’s only after the person is dead that you can cut his or her brain open and look for tell-tale plaques and tangles. For now, it’s process of elimination [...] In diagnosing Alzheimer’s, doctors can only tell you everything that it isn’t”
Ruth explains the challenges of securing a diagnosis of dementia for her father despite his worrying symptoms. She points out that the disease can only be confirmed after a patient dies. This frustrating lack of a diagnosis sets the tone for the rest of the novel, in which Ruth and her family learn how to best care for her father and help manage his often-changing and sometimes challenging symptoms.
“There were signs, I guess, I’d chosen to ignore. At parties, talking to another woman, Joel used to reach out to touch me lightly when I walked by, as if to say, Don’t worry, I still like you the best. I noticed when it stopped happening. I told myself that it wasn’t anything.”
Ruth is home with her parents again after a recent breakup with her ex-fiancé, Joel. Throughout the text, Ruth tries to understand the signs that she missed leading up to the breakup. Combing through memories to try and understand what happened, Ruth writes down this memory that only makes sense to her in hindsight. Joel’s sudden lack of reassurance while out at parties was only one sign that their relationship was on rocky ground, long before Joel sprung the breakup on her.
“I never liked New Year’s. The trouble with beginnings is that there’s no such thing. What’s a beginning but an arbitrary point of entry? You begin when you’re born, I guess, but it’s not like you know anything about that.”
Part of Ruth’s character is her unique perspective on things, which she records in her journal. This quote illustrates Ruth’s way of thinking about beginnings, and how she dislikes New Year’s because its promise of new beginnings rings false to her.
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