63 pages • 2 hours read
Alana is 35 when she begins therapy with Gildiner. At their first session, she exhibits signs of physical distress, such as difficulty breathing. She gives a brief history, indicating her mother was considered unfit to care for Alana and her sister when Alana was three. Their father, a computer programmer, raised them. He had a substance use disorder and abused the girls in a number of ways, including sexual abuse. Alana warns Gildiner that she is fearful to reveal her thoughts, noting that she often gags or vomits when she has difficulty dealing with her thoughts.
Alana works at a law firm, having worked her way up from the IT department despite having completed only one year of law school. She explains her triggers to Gildiner, which stem from being repeatedly raped by her father, whom she calls Art, at a young age. She goes on to explain that the most troubling aspect remains that she was forced to fake her enjoyment of the abuse. Art further abused Alana by forcing her to take drugs and by allowing his friends to rape Alana as well.
Alana speaks of one particularly traumatizing incident in which Art pushed both her and her sister, Gretchen, out of a boat.
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