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During the fall of her sophomore year, Fleshman’s body began to change, and she put on weight. This affected her performance on the track; she felt slower and heavier, and she had to work harder to keep up. Her coach advised her to get back to her “race weight” (68). Meanwhile, a new teammate, Caitlyn, was struggling with an eating disorder, avoiding eating the same food as the others and excusing herself to the bathroom for long stretches after meals. The coaches seemed reluctant to talk about it.
Fleshman points out that female college athletes are pressured to uphold ridiculous standards for their bodies, being pressured not only by Western beauty standards but also by ideals around ideal athletic shapes.
At the end of Fleshman’s sophomore year, she began finally to feel stronger again, winning the 5,000-meter race at the NCAA meet after a year of running feeling tougher than it ever had.
Lananna reprimanded the girls’ team for having an “integrity problem” (74). Fleshman agreed at the time but now reflects that the women were blamed for their patchy performances, disordered eating, and confidence problems instead of supported through them. Fleshman reflects that there is no women-specific information in the NCAA guidelines on athletes; she points out that women suffer with the assumption of sameness because the male body is used as a guideline.
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