Getting to Yes

Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (1981) is a business and self-help book by Roger Fisher and William Ury. It teaches a principled method of settling disputes so that both sides win. Revised in 1991 and 2011, the book has sold 15 million copies in 35 languages, spent several years on the BusinessWeek bestseller list, and is one of the most commonly cited works on lists of the best negotiation books.

Authors Fisher and Ury co-founded the Harvard Negotiation Project, which co-sponsored the book. They each took part in several important international negotiations, including border disputes, a hostage crisis, and disarmament talks. Fellow member and third-edition co-author Bruce Patton co-wrote a related bestseller, Difficult Conversations (1999).

The eBook version of the 2011 revised edition forms the basis for this study guide.

Summary

According to the book, people in contemporary society no longer obey someone else’s dictates; they want a say. There are more disputes than ever, but people don’t always use the best strategies. They tend to think that “soft” and “hard” are the only two ways to negotiate. The soft approach avoids conflict by making concessions; the hard approach seeks to win at any cost.

A third way incorporates both hard and soft techniques, but differently. It looks for both sides to gain and, when that’s not possible, find an agreement based on fair standards. This approach, “principled negotiation,” goes easy on people but hard on the problem itself. It allows a negotiator to be a good, fair person and still win a solid agreement. This system works in any type of negotiation; it produces results that are wise, efficient, and friendly. If both sides use the technique, so much the better.

It’s vital to keep the disputants’ egos separate from the disagreement. When negotiators see each other as opponents, they fight for domination. Instead, they should regard the other side’s members as allies who can help solve a shared problem; then they cease to undermine each other and work constructively together. To achieve this, negotiators must listen to and understand each other’s perspectives and feelings, refrain from criticisms, and clearly communicate the goal of becoming colleagues dedicated to solving a mutual problem.

Most negotiations involve taking positions, trying not to budge from them, and compromising only at the last minute. A better approach is to consider the interests that underlie conflicting positions and find ways to fulfill interests for both sides. This approach is tough on the problem but goes easy on the people involved.

It’s better to look for many possible solutions than a single one. Multiple options can be found by generating ideas without judging them, searching among them for solutions that solve both sides’ problems, and making these solutions easy to implement.

Many conflicts can be resolved by referring them to a respected outside authority, such as standard industry practices, local customs, or mediation. These tend to be neutral and fair; disputes can be resolved by having one side design a split of resources and the other side choosing the one it wants.

Sometimes no deal is better than a bad one. The more ways a side can live without an agreement, the more power they have in a negotiation. Devising several options outside of a settlement, and selecting one as a fallback position, gives a negotiating team the power of a “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement,” or “BATNA” (102).

Some negotiators will refuse to budge from their position. “Negotiation Jujitsu” takes the energy of that commitment and focuses it on the issues rather than on personalities. Bringing in a third party to mediate a single, or one-text, solution also helps negotiators focus on finding a solution that works for both sides.

Some representatives will resort to tricky bargaining—deception, psychological warfare, and pressure tactics—to try to take control of negotiations and force concessions. For these attempts, it’s best to recognize the gambit, point it out to the other side, and open up the rules of play for discussion.

The book responds to 10 readers’ questions with additional advice and tips. (1) Positional bargaining occasionally has a place, especially in addressing small details. (2) If fair standards can’t be agreed on, the sides can flip a coin or use a third party. (3) If a side holds all the advantages and abandons fairness, it’ll pay later in recriminations, noncompliance, and broken relationships with the other side.

(4) When one side acts unfairly, the other side shouldn’t strike back but raise the behavior as an issue to resolve. (5) It’s nearly always better to negotiate, even with terrorists, since it provides leverage and reduces the chance of paying ransom. (6) People and cultures are different, and taking these variations into account improves communication.

(7) Choice of venue depends on each side’s needs at the time; communicate in person if possible; negotiators should begin, not with an offer, but with a discussion of each side’s interests. (8) Delegates ought not to commit to any section of an agreement until all parties have reached consensus. (9) The book’s principles should first be tried out on small matters, and only thereafter attempted on more difficult talks.

(10) Real power in bargaining comes not from being bigger or tougher, but from managing the negotiation so that both sides work together to get what they really need. This is the central thesis of the book.