47 pages • 1 hour read
From the Desk of Zoe Washington
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Themes
Proving’s One’s Capabilities
Throughout the novel, Zoe feels an obligation to prove her capabilities to herself, her peers, and especially her parents. Mack uses Zoe’s desire to be taken seriously as a developing pastry chef, her insistence that Mom allow her to have an open relationship with her father, and her quest for justice for Marcus to examine how increasing self-sufficiency and independence are crucial parts of growing up.
Zoe wants to show others like her parents and Ariana that she is highly capable and mature, and she is frustrated when others do not share her confidence in her own abilities. She eagerly accepts the internship at Ari’s Cakes, then is disappointed to be assigned menial tasks like folding boxes. She is further frustrated when Vincent hesitates to let her fill cupcake tins, when Ariana takes control of her rolling of the fondant, and when she is unable to complete her last day of the internship. In the library she must ask more than once for directions to the adult nonfiction books, as the library aide assumes she wants the children’s section. Through Zoe’s frustration at being treated like a child, Marks explores the experience of transitioning from childhood to adolescence, and the corresponding desire to be taken more seriously by adults. Though Zoe sometimes reacts with disproportionate emotional outbursts when faced with disappointment, her confidence rarely falters; instead, she coaches herself into trying again and working harder toward her goals.
Zoe’s resilience and ambition face their greatest obstacle in navigating her new relationship with her father. Regarding helping Marcus to see if he is telling the truth, Grandma tells her to drop the matter because, “You’re only a kid” (135). Here, Marks complicates her portrayal of Zoe as more capable that the adults in her life are ready to admit. At 12, Zoe should not have to bear the responsibility of correcting her father’s wrongful conviction, in addition to processing the complex emotions of getting to know an incarcerated parent she has never met. Marks contrasts Zoe’s creative problem-solving and determination with her age-appropriate immaturity relating to adult relationships and the legal system. Even Trevor chalks up her inability to get information from Susan Thomas to her age: “Maybe she heard how young you were and didn’t want to get involved” (196). In the most important test of her own capabilities, Zoe takes the subway with Trevor to Harvard Square without adults in attendance—and without permission. Unable to convince the adults in her life to be of more help, and unwilling to abandon Marcus’s cause, Zoe feels she must take action on her own. When she is caught returning from the secret—and risky—trip, Zoe faces a week of grounding, but her actions also lead directly to the overturning of Marcus’s conviction. Though Zoe’s goals do not all come to immediate fruition in the story, she proves her capacity for resourcefulness and resilience by pursuing the alibi witness, forgiving Mom and Trevor, and asking for forgiveness from others.
Trusting Others Versus Trusting Oneself
Trusting others is a central theme in the novel. When the story opens, Marks portrays Zoe as already in a vulnerable place regarding trust because she feels hurt that Trevor, her “ex-best friend” (11), lied to his basketball teammates in denying his friendship with her. To Zoe, his betrayal left an immediate and lasting mark: Trevor was no longer trustworthy, having caused her great hurt. Even after Trevor apologizes sincerely and explains that he also feels hurt when Zoe excludes him from her time with Maya and Jasmine, Zoe still finds it difficult to trust Trevor. Over the course of the novel, Zoe recreates this dynamic with nearly all of her close relationships.
Initially Zoe’s correspondence with Marcus is a curiosity and a fun secret; soon though, she cannot help asking him if he is sorry for the murder, largely due to how Mom has characterized Marcus as untrustworthy to Zoe. Zoe is thrilled and hopeful when he replies that he is innocent; she is hesitant to believe Marcus, however, since his innocence refutes her mother claims that he manipulates and lies to suit his goals. Zoe meets her greatest conflict of the novel therein: She cannot trust both her mother (who says Marcus lies) and Marcus (who states directly in his second letter that he will never lie to her) at the same time. Though she has a close and honest relationship, typically, with her mother, Zoe decides she must trust her own findings in the matter and begins her search to learn what she can about the murder, the case, the trial, and the conviction. Similarly, she initially trusts Grandma to help her hid her communication with Marcus, but no longer can count on Grandma once Grandma insists that Zoe promise not to pursue the alibi witness. Unable to count on the adults in her life for help, Zoe is happy to take another chance on her friendship with Trevor so that she can follow her instincts and continue her plan.
Marks still emphasizes the importance of balancing trust in oneself with trust in others, however: After the Harvard Square trip, Zoe must accept the consequences of breaking her parents’ and Tyler’s mom’s trust. She is frustrated that, to her, neither Grandma nor Mom proves themselves completely trustworthy either; Grandma forces her to give up her phone before she can call Susan Thomas back despite the obviously important news Professor Thomas has to tell, and Mom admits to throwing out years and years of Marcus’s letters to Zoe. Zoe accepts her punishment calmly, however, and later she and Mom begin to rebuild the trust between them with apologies and Mom’s decision to seek the truth from Susan Thomas. By the end of the novel, open communication and mutual trust enable Zoe and her family to successfully overturn Marcus’s wrongful conviction.
The Ability to Forgive and Forget
The central theme of forgiving and forgetting comes across in both direct and indirect ways in the novel, and Marks explores the importance of forgiveness in long-term friendships and family relationships. Mom’s advice to Zoe regarding Trevor’s behavior, for example, broaches the theme in a direct way. She recommends that Zoe forgive Trevor because it will lessen the pain that Zoe feels, but Mom does not necessarily recommend moving on completely: “That doesn’t mean you have to forget what he did. There’s a difference” (86). Neither Mom nor the reader knows at this point what Trevor did to anger Zoe, but to Mom, not knowing the details does not dissuade her from giving the advice. In fact, she admits, “I have a hard time letting things go too” (85) as she leads into that conversation. As the novel progresses, readers learn what Mom meant by that indirect statement: She suspected Marcus of dating another woman, Lucy Hernandez, while dating her. Mom feels that because she could not trust Marcus in their relationship, she was better off trusting the court’s judgment of Marcus and never believed in his innocence.
Mom wanted to move on to forgetting Marcus and felt so strongly about preventing him from communicating with Zoe that she intercepted and destroyed all his letters. After meeting with Susan Thomas, however, and finally admitting that Marcus’s innocence seems probable, Mom asks Zoe’s forgiveness for attempting to keep Marcus from her. Mom also seeks forgiveness from Marcus when Zoe finally meets him in person, saying, “I’m sorry it took this long” (278). Marcus represents selflessness and empathy in the prison scene when he tells Mom, “It’s okay. I understand” (278). Marks shows how, even though Marcus could justifiably be upset over Mom’s lack of faith in him and her preventing him from having a relationship with his daughter, he chooses to focus on building a better relationship in the future rather than holding on to the hurt of the past.
Initially, Zoe cannot understand Mom’s attitude and rules against her communicating with Marcus; she feels she has no choice but to lie and hide her letters, and frustratedly shuts her mother out: “She didn’t deserve Marcus’s Macaroni and cheese. Not when she was keeping him from me” (161). Once Mom asks for forgiveness, though, Zoe recognizes the right thing to do in forgiving and forgetting: “We walked down the street toward the mailbox, Mom’s arm linked through mine the whole way” (274). Like Marcus does soon after, Zoe here displays a preference for rebuilding stronger relationships together over trying to punish others for how they have hurt her.
Zoe professes to not need her mother’s advice regarding Trevor’s friendship, but she struggles to move on from their confrontation. After Zoe tells Trevor why she is so angry with him and he apologizes, she still cannot find a way to forget what he said about her:
I wanted to accept his apology and forget it all happened […] But it was like when you drew something in pencil and then tried to erase it—the pencil lines would mostly go away, but sometimes the indent would still be there, so you could still sort of see what had been erased (119).
Not until later in the story when Trevor takes steps to undo the damage does Zoe feel able to let the matter go. She overhears Trevor telling Lincoln and Sean, “She’s cool. I never should have said that stuff about her. I didn’t mean it” (155). When they tease him for his loyalty to Zoe, he gets more adamant: “You guys have to shut up about her” (156). Zoe does not comment aloud on Trevor’s comments, but she shows with her smile and regained trust that she forgives him more fully now.
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