Forever...

Katherine writes a series of letters to people she has left behind. She writes her first to Michael on June 26, updating him about the camp and how she is helping the head tennis instructor, Theo. She counts down the days (49) until they see each other again and says that she wishes she was with him instead. Michael writes back on June 28, telling her he read her letter eight times and ran into Erica the day before at a local deli. He writes that he loves and misses her and that “Ralph also misses you” (179). Katherine responds on July 1 and wishes Michael a safe trip to North Carolina. She tells him not to talk to strangers on the plane, “especially female ones” (180).

Erica writes to Katherine in early July, telling her that her job at the paper is going well and gives her Artie’s address so that Katherine can write to him. Erica says that she wishes she had handled things differently with Artie.

In a letter to her parents, Katherine writes that she is adjusting to camp and has become friends with the photography counselor, Nan. She writes that the other tennis instructor, Theo, calls her “Kat,” which annoys her, and that Jamie has a new boyfriend.

Katherine writes to Artie as well, a short note telling him about her summer job at the camp, and closes by saying she is thinking about him. She then writes to Erica, sharing that she wishes Erica would find a guy to take her mind off Artie and that perhaps Erica’s plan to have sex before leaving for college is just what she needs. Katherine mentions that Theo is 21 and a senior at Northwestern and not as bad as she first thought.

Erica writes back, telling her that she and Sybil had fun at the beach, but Sybil does not like to talk about the baby, and the “whole experience was more than she bargained for” (184). She thanks Katherine for her suggestion but has decided she does not want to have sex until she really loves the person, like Katherine and Michael.

After the campers return to their cabins at 10:00 each night, the counselors spend time together. Katherine notices Theo watching her while she writes her letters, and he does not look away when she makes eye contact. She thinks about how her opinion of Theo has changed the more time she has spent with him: Whereas before she thought he was a “wise-ass” (187), Katherine now sees how patient he is with the campers and enjoys playing tennis against him.

One night, Theo points out Katherine’s necklace and asks her what it means. He says that “forever’s one hell of a long time for a kid like you” (187), and Katherine reminds him that she is 18 and not a child.

Katherine and Michael continue to exchange letters and brief notes about how their summers are progressing. One night, Katherine, Theo, and Nan have a night off together, and Theo takes them to the movies. Theo sits between them at the movies and jokingly puts his arms around Nan and Katherine. Katherine muses that she feels so close to Theo and Nan, even though she has only known them for a short time.

That night, Katherine awakes from a dream of having sex with Theo. Feeling guilty about her dream, Katherine writes a four-page letter to Michael and stays far away from Theo. Despite her attempt at keeping her distance, Katherine can feel “something growing” (189) between her and Theo.

That night, the counselors watch the campers dance at an activity night in the main cabin. Katherine watches Theo dance with the younger campers, wishing he would look at Nan like he looks at her. One of the older campers tries to dance with Theo when a slow song comes on, but he says he promised Katherine he would dance with her and takes her in his arms. Katherine and Theo dance, and when the song ends, Katherine runs out of the cabin and down to the lake. She sits on a rock and cries, wondering how she can love Michael while being attracted to Theo.

The next weekend, Katherine receives a late-night call from her mother telling her that her grandfather had another stroke and did not survive. Katherine begins crying, and her parents assure her he did not suffer. Katherine says she wants to come home right away to be with her parents and grandmother, but her parents tell her they want her to stay at camp. Her parents ask Katherine if she can break the news to Jamie in the morning.

Katherine goes down to her spot at the lake and thinks about her grandfather. She feels someone behind her and turns to see Theo, who says Nan told him the news and that he is sorry. Katherine shares her fear that she will have to tell Jamie in the morning, and Theo offers to go with her but says Katherine should get some sleep right now.

Theo walks Katherine back to her cabin and kisses her on the forehead. Katherine pulls Theo into a hug and begins kissing him. Theo returns her kiss but then stops her, saying he does not want it to happen like this—“not with death for an excuse” (196). Katherine goes to her room and cries again.

Katherine writes to Michael to tell him of her grandfather’s death. A few nights later, Katherine and Theo stay behind while their friends go into town. Theo tries to broach the subject of their kiss, but Katherine says she does not want to discuss it. He asks Katherine again whether she intends to be with Michael forever and says he wants to see her again after camp, but “not until [she] get[s] [her] head together” (198). Katherine admits that she needs time to think.

Michael writes to say how sorry he is for Katherine’s loss and that he wishes they could be together so that he could help her through. Katherine does not respond. Michael writes again the next week, asking if she received his previous letter. Katherine drafts a response to Michael, admitting that everything is not okay and that while “I think I still love you [...] something’s changed” (198-99), adding that she has met someone who has her feeling “mixed up” (199). She writes that she does not know what to do and that maybe she will get over her feelings for this other person and whether Michael can wait for her while she figures out how she feels. Later on, Katherine re-reads the letter and rips it up.

On Saturday afternoon, Katherine is called to the main camp office. Theo goes with her, as Katherine is worried something else has happened, perhaps to her grandmother this time. When Kat arrives, the camp director opens the door, and Michael is standing there. Kat drops Theo’s hand, which she has been holding, and rushes to Michael. Michael tells her he wanted to surprise her after she did not answer his last few letters. Katherine introduces Michael to Theo, and they shake hands. Theo hastens to leave, telling Katherine he will see her later, and the camp director tells Katherine she can have a night off.

Katherine takes Michael back to her cabin and showers, wondering how she can explain how she feels to Michael without him “hating me” (201). Katherine dresses, and she and Michael go out to dinner. They converse about their summers, while Katherine knows she is avoiding “the most important thing” (202) and will have to address it before long.

They go to Michael’s room at a motel and begin kissing, but Katherine cannot “let myself feel anything” (202). She debates pretending for a moment but then stops Michael and tells him they must talk. At first, Michael thinks Katherine is thinking about her grandfather, but when Katherine begins speaking, Michael suddenly interjects, stating, “There’s another guy, isn’t there?” (203). Michael begins dressing, decrying how stupid he feels, and Katherine says that she wants to be honest like they promised each other.

Michael goes into the bathroom, stating that things cannot be the same between them now, and asking her, “What about forever […]?” (204). After a while, Michael comes out of the bathroom and tells Katherine that he does not want to share her and that she needs to make up her mind. Katherine says she cannot make any promises right now, so Michael breaks up with her, telling her she cannot have it both ways.

Katherine takes off her necklace and tries to give it back to Michael, but he takes it and drops it in her purse. They are silent on their drive back to camp, and Michael, trying to hurt Katherine, lies, saying that he “screwed my way around North Carolina” (206). Katherine does not believe him, and Michael’s car tires screech on the road as he drives quickly away.

Katherine sees Michael at a local drugstore before leaving for college. They say hello, and Katherine asks how Artie is. Michael tells her that he is home and that he saw him yesterday. They stand there, staring at each other, and Katherine wishes him good luck at school. Michael wishes her the same and tells her he got the job in Vail. Katherine asks if he plans to take it, and he says, “It all depends…” (208). Katherine wants to tell him that “[she] will never be sorry for loving him” (208) and that part of her will always love him. She thinks that if they were 10 years older, things may have ended differently between them, but “I’m not ready for forever” (208). She does not say any of this but hopes that Michael knows she feels this way and that he feels the same. They say goodbye, and Katherine leaves.

When Katherine gets home, she sees her family outside. Her mother asks if she is all right because she does not look well, and Katherine says that while she has had better days, she is okay. Katherine starts to go inside when her mother tells her that Theo called while she was out.