Flock

“After years of fighting it, this is the conclusion I’ve drawn. I’m a different person now, but I was before I left too. When everything happened, I was determined I’d never return. But the infuriating truth I’ve discovered is that I’ll never be able to move on. It’s the reason I’m back. To make peace with my fate. I can no longer disregard the greedy demand of the vessel beating in my chest or the nagging of my subconscious.”

Cecelia Horner’s internal monologue in the Prologue contextualizes the narrative action and inspires the primary narrative conflict. Her resolved tone and direct diction capture her determination to return to Triple Falls and complete some yet undisclosed mission. Her language is plain yet incites suspense and mystery as she withholds information about why she has come back. Furthermore, her use of figurative language—calling her heart a “greedy vessel” for example—reflects her intense emotions.

“The warmth of the sun disappears the second I pull open the glass doors. The building itself feels ancient. Though polished, the tiled floors are cracking and peeling after decades of use. There’s a large potted fern in the middle of the lobby that gives a pretense of life somewhere inside, but upon closer inspection, I realize it’s fake and littered with cobwebs. A lone security guard who looks past his prime stands idly by as an older, well-dressed woman with shrewd gray eyes meets me from behind a front desk.”

Cecelia uses vivid language to depict the repellent environment at Horner Technologies. Words like “cracking,” “peeling,” “fake,” “littered,” “cobwebs,” idly,” “shrewd,” and “gray” present the setting as a hostile, rundown, and derelict, which in turn foreshadows the negative working conditions Cecelia and her coworkers will face therein.

“The more I look around, the more I recognize these people are family. I seem to be the only outsider here, which I assume is the reason for the seconds-long glances that are coming at me from all sides. Not the type to mingle, I find myself missing Sean—who’s been gone for what seems like forever—as I stand in the middle of the yard, a fish out of water. Music filters down from an open window on the second floor of the house as I walk over to the fence, overlooking a partial mountain view. I might have moved from the suburbs of Atlanta to the mountains in Bumfuck, Nowhere, but even I can appreciate the spectacular scenery.”

Cecelia is used to being an observer rather than a participant in groups. She is rendering this scene in vivid detail, which illustrates her introverted personality and penchant for removing herself from the crowd. Furthermore, the use of the “fish out of water” metaphor underscores her alienation, while the description of the “mountain view” conveys her innate connection to the natural world.