Firefly Lane

Kate, Johnny, and their baby daughter, Marah, are now living in a beachfront house on Bainbridge Island. Kate is struggling with motherhood despite keeping up appearances to the contrary. Marah is always sick, and at almost one, she still hasn’t slept through the night. At this point, when Kate starts her day or hears the baby cry, she prays for strength.

With the lack of sleep and stress of motherhood, Kate is feeling more self-conscious about her looks. Her skin is even paler than usual and the bags under her eyes have grown. She frets about the 10 pounds of baby weight that she has yet to lose, so she wears sweats and avoids her old clothes. When Johnny tells her that she looks beautiful one morning, Kate jokes that he must be having an affair and be confused. They talk about how long it has been since they’ve been intimate, and Johnny tells Kate that he has arranged a romantic evening in Seattle while her parents babysit. With that bit of good news, they fall back to sleep.

At 5:47am, Tully calls to remind them to watch her first important story airing on the morning show. Kate is exhausted, so her response is not enthusiastic. Tully is hurt, apologizes for bothering her, and hangs up the phone. Kate feels she can’t do anything right with Tully lately. She and Tully are in such different places in their lives that they don’t have much in common. Tully doesn’t want to hear all about Marah, and Kate doesn’t want to hear about Tully’s exciting life. Kate and Johnny watch the broadcast, and both are struck by how gorgeous she looks. When Johnny gets into the shower, Kate calls to congratulate Tully, but a receptionist tells her to leave a message.

When guests arrive for Marah’s first birthday party, Kate is already getting a headache. After everyone leaves, Kate’s mother comments on how quiet Kate has been. Kate says that this idea of women being able to have it all is ridiculous; being a good mom is hard. Kate loves being a mother, but the amount of responsibility and the pace are exhausting. Kate is apprehensive about being apart from Marah for the first time, but she gives in and Marah goes to her grandparents’ house.

Johnny picks up Kate and they head downtown. In the hotel, Johnny has already set up champagne and strawberries. Kate laughs that he must really want to “get laid,” and Johnny rebuts that he is simply a man “who loves his wife” (247). As Kate starts to dress for their night, Johnny looks at her longingly, and they make love. Afterward, Johnny says he loves Kate, using the same words he always uses, but his cadence is different, signaling to Kate that something is wrong. Johnny tells her that he wants to go to the Middle East to cover the impending war. Kate is upset. She doesn’t want him to go, but knowing that he originally wanted Tully has made it so that she is “afraid to deny him anything” (249). Kate makes Johnny promise not to die and swears to God that if he does, she’ll hate him forever. Later that night, she worries that she has challenged God with her words.

Grant, Tully’s lover, answers Tully’s phone and reports that Kate is on the line and demands to speak with her. Tully answers and says that Kate was a bitch. Kate tells her that it wasn’t a good time to call, and she knows she wasn’t pleasant; however, she will not go through the usual groveling ritual because she has other things to worry about: Johnny is heading to Baghdad the next day. Tully promises to follow him via the studio, as they tend to get news sooner than the public. Tully is afraid for him, too.

After Johnny leaves, Kate spends the next two days in a haze waiting for his fax to confirm that he is there and safe. Early the following morning, she runs to the machine to see his handwriting come through, and she cries. His subsequent faxes describe the insanity and danger of his surroundings. When his faxes stop coming, Kate is worried. She watches war coverage constantly, hoping that she will see Johnny or a report that the war is ending. One day, the phone rings. On the other end of the line is a friend of Johnny’s calling to tell her that there was a bombing.

Edna takes Tully to lunch and introduces her to many important people. When Tully asks why Edna is doing her such favors, Edna says that Tully reminds her of herself. A waiter arrives with an urgent phone call that a reporter has been killed and a producer critically injured. When Tully hears Johnny’s name, she’s numb and tells Edna that Johnny is her best friend’s husband. Edna immediately sees that Tully has an advantage in getting this story and pushes Tully to take it. Tully is worried about Kate and feels going after Johnny as a story is vaguely wrong, but Edna convinces her by pointing out the promotions she might get.

Tully calls Kate and tells her that she’ll meet her in Germany, where Johnny is in the hospital. Kate can’t believe it, but Tully acts as if that’s just what best friends do for each other, neglecting to mention “the exclusive she’d promised Edna” (258).

Kate pushes through press to enter the hospital, and a nurse shows her to Johnny’s room. Kate is shocked by how “frail and broken” (260) he looks. The nurse tells her to focus on the fact that he is alive and that he needs her to be strong for him. Kate fixates on the need to be strong as a way to keep it together.

When she is alone with Johnny, she chastises him for not holding up his end of the deal: he was supposed to be okay. Dr. Schmidt enters and tells Kate that Johnny “has suffered a serious head injury” (261) and they aren’t sure of the extent of the damage. Tully arrives, and she and Kate share a tearful embrace. The doctor continues, stating that they are not sure if Johnny will be blind and that they will know more if he wakes up. Dr. Schmidt points out that the next 48 hours will be critical.

Kate and Tully take turns talking to Johnny for the next six hours. When they go down to the cafeteria in the middle of the night, Tully asks what Kate plans to “do about the press” (262) since they are so interested in Johnny. Kate is adamant that Johnny will not be a story, especially since they don’t know the extent of his injuries. Tully tries to convince Kate that he would understand being part of the news. Tully even suggests that if she were to have an exclusive, she could protect Kate and Johnny. Kate does not respond, but Tully says that she will take care of the media to ease Kate’s burden, and Kate is grateful.

Tully’s bosses demand that she get the story as soon as possible, promising her a spot on the “news nook” if she gets it. Tully decides that she will break the story in a way that does not betray Kate’s trust. Tully starts to dream of the news nook job, and she feels sure that Kate will understand how important this opportunity is for her. She finds her cameraman and ushers him into the building to get started.

Kate meets with Dr. Schmidt, who is concerned that the swelling in Johnny’s brain has not lessened quickly. The doctor says that Johnny might need another surgery but that Johnny is clearly very strong. As Kate returns to Johnny’s room, she sees a cameraman in his doorway and runs down the hall to stop him. When she shoves him out of the way, she sees Tully with a microphone at the foot of Johnny’s bed. Tully says she was going to ask, then tells Kate that she’ll get fired if she doesn’t get the story. Kate is enraged. She slaps Tully and tells her to get out. An alarm on Johnny’s bed sounds, and the staff removes him from the room. When Tully pleads with Kate that they are “best friends forever. No matter what,” Kate tells her that she isn’t the kind of friend that she needs (267). Alone in the bathroom, Kate cries.

Time moves slowly as Kate sits alone in the waiting room. Without Tully, she is even more alone and feels “herself sinking into despair” (268). The doctor comes out and says that Johnny’s surgery went well, and they have reason for new hope. Kate goes into the room and talks to Johnny until she falls asleep. In the morning, she resumes her one-sided conversation until she runs out of things to say and turns on the TV. While flipping through channels, she sees Tully broadcasting from outside the hospital. Kate is shocked that Tully has made Johnny’s desire to bring the story to the American people, and Kate’s support and sacrifice for Johnny, seem heroic. As she stands stunned, Johnny opens his eyes. Johnny looks confused when she asks him if he knows where he is, but when she asks him if he knows her, he responds that she’s his Katie.

After countless meetings and consultations, Dr. Schmidt sends Kate to get some lunch, pointing out that she’s lost too much weight during all this stress. As she leaves, Dr. Schmidt asks if they can report Johnny’s condition to the press in order to get rid of them, which Kate agrees to consider. In the cafeteria, Kate realizes that being alone in grief is easier than being alone in relief. As she sits down, Tully brings her a cup of tea, and Kate can’t believe that she is still there. Kate knows that the tea is Tully’s version of an apology and that if she takes it, she will be agreeing to forgive and forget what happened. Instead, Kate congratulates Tully on the story, and Tully tells her that she’s getting a replacement spot on the news nook. Kate knows that this is why Tully “sold [her] out,” and she wishes that Tully would actually apologize (273). However, she knows that Tully is incapable of apologizing, and she reaches for the tea. Tully grins and pulls up a chair. Not long after, Kate is laughing, and she reflects that best friends are able to make you laugh even when things are at their darkest.

Johnny’s recovery involves a great deal of work with a physical therapist. Marah notices that Johnny is different, and she cries until Kate brings her into their bed.

During the girlfriend hour at Thanksgiving, Kate begins to cry as she tells her mother and aunt that she’s doing okay. Tully arrives and hugs Kate, telling Kate how much she missed her. As usual, Tully takes the party up a notch, and soon everyone is singing and dancing. Johnny hands Kate a box containing a heart-shaped locket. Johnny tells her that he knows that this year has been hard on her and that she is his heart. He says that has taken a job at the old station; she doesn’t have to be afraid for him.

At the end of August 1997, Marah is about to enter second grade. For these first seven years of Marah’s life, Kate has been as diligent and dedicated a mother as she has known how to be; she’s finally found her passion. However, Kate has started to desire something more. Tully, Johnny, and her mother have all commented on what seems like her search for something else, but she has dismissed them. Kate pulls herself out of her thoughts and turns on the television, discovering that “Princess Diana is dead” (278). When Tully points out that “she was just starting to come into her own” (278), Kate feels like she knows what that is like—waiting too long to get started. Kate verbalizes a spur-of-the-moment decision that she’ll take a writing class.

Kate regrets ever telling Tully that she’d take a class because Tully told Kate’s mother, who told Johnny. However, when Marah goes to school, Kate can no longer make excuses and enrolls in an “Introduction to Fiction Writing” (279) class. When she finally gets to class, she’s older than everyone, including the teacher, but when “the professor talked about writing, about the gift of storytelling [...] Kate felt she belonged” (280).

Tully’s agent, George, tells Tully to meet him at the Plaza hotel, but he doesn’t say why. After George says he’s going to make her “dreams come true” (280), he leads her to a table with the president of CBS, who compliments Tully’s interviewing skills and offers her a cohost position starting in 1998. Her agent negotiates (briefly) for $2 million a year, and Tully has a new job.

As Kate stands in front of her class, she thinks about how much she has enjoyed writing again and how confident it makes her feel. However, she is nervous as she starts to read her story to her class. The class proceeds to critique her work, and afterward, Kate feels ready to use their criticism and try again. While Kate is packing her things, the professor tells Kate that she has promise.

After class, Kate meets her mother for lunch. Her mother congratulates her on her writing and says she wishes she had found something like it when she was younger. When Kate tells her mother that she should be proud of her accomplishments with her children and marriage, her mother hesitates. Kate understands what it means to be a stay-at-home mom and the sacrifices it requires, and she tells her mother that she’s her hero, bringing tears to her mom’s eyes.

When Kate starts to eat, she immediately feels ill and runs to the bathroom. Her mother points out that mayonnaise made Kate nauseous when she was pregnant with Marah, too. Kate can’t believe she might be pregnant, but she has had other symptoms. She and Johnny tried to have another baby for quite some time, but recently they accepted that Marah would be their only child. Kate thinks about how well things are going with her writing, but she smiles wanly and tells her mother that she can still pursue writing with two kids. Shortly thereafter, Kate finds out that she’s pregnant with twins.