Finding Fish

Antwone’s first memory is of looking out of the window, alone on a snowy afternoon at the Picketts’. He imagines he has superhuman powers. Antwone and his foster brother Dwight are taken for an appointment with social services, during which Antwone will meet his mother. Mrs. Pickett is unkind to the children, who dislike her. After missing other appointments, Antwone’s mother is late. She is pretty but behaves like a child herself, Antwone’s caseworker notes. After missing a subsequent appointment, Antwone’s mother sends clothes and attempts to get married and provide a home for Antwone. When this falls through, Antwone’s mother stops contacting social services, and Antwone accepts Mrs. Pickett as his mother.

At age three, Antwone has a recurring dream that he is left alone with Willenda, a neighbor who babysits. Willenda takes Antwone into the basement and molests him. The shell-shocked child does not tell anyone because he is ashamed and fears retribution from Willenda. Daydreaming about playing outside, Antwone is told to sleep in his cot. Meanwhile the other children play with matches and burn the house down.

Months later, Willenda’s and Mrs. Pickett’s beatings continue. Mr. Pickett, a reverend, is kinder, sometimes giving Antwone a nickel.