52 pages • 1 hour read
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Felix is the eponymous protagonist of the book. He is a 17-year-old attending an elite art school called St. Catherine’s. Felix is queer, transgender, Black, low income, and lives with his single father; he believes that these identities make him difficult for others to love. Felix’s biggest insecurity is that no one will ever love him. Unlike much of his cohort, he has never been in love or kissed anyone. This belief stems from his mother abandoning him at age 10. Felix emailed her to come out as trans after she left, but she never responded, leaving him wondering if she still loves him or not.
Felix often feels like a sidekick to his best friend Ezra, silently following him around. Felix lacks confidence and self-love, so he watches while others participate in activities. Felix is also struggling with questioning his gender identity. This anxiety is compounded by the transphobic violence Felix experiences with the gallery wall incident and his troll. With outside forces already questioning the validity of Felix’s identity, it leaves little space for internal, personal exploration.
Throughout the book Felix learns the difference between healthy and unhealthy love, opens himself up to the possibility of loss or rejection, and gains self-worth that allows him to take risks.
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