Expiration Dates

The novel flashes back to Daphne and Hugo’s relationship. Daphne has been dating Hugo for “two months and three weeks when [she is] rushed to the hospital” (168). At the time, she knows she loves Hugo and does not want their relationship to end. She feels safe in his presence and reflects that “being in his orbit [is] like being inside the sun” (168). However, when she is admitted to the hospital to have a stent implanted, she does not tell Hugo about her condition. Instead, she lies and says that her father is ill and will not let Hugo come to keep her company.

A week later, she is released into her parents’ care and again remains at home to recover. She tells Hugo that her father has been released but that she needs to stay and help him for a few days. Hugo asks to come visit and help, but Daphne refuses. She has already seen her illness take its toll on her parents and does not want to inflict it on anyone else.

Then, Hugo arrives at her parents’ house unannounced and realizes that her father is not ill. Hugo demands an explanation. Daphne tells him about her heart condition and how close she came to dying. Hugo is stunned for a moment. Daphne, realizing that they have reached their three-month time limit, tells him that their relationship is over. Hugo objects and tries to change her mind. To convince him, she tells him about the notes and their time limit. Inwardly, however, Daphne is merely afraid that Hugo will only remain out of pity. Horrified, Hugo wishes that he had known it was finite for her, and Daphne assures him that it is better not knowing. Hugo retorts that she cannot know because she has never experienced the alternative.

In the present, a week after dinner with Hugo, Daphne agrees to move in with Jake. He clears out his second bedroom and converts it into an office and private space for Daphne, explaining, “I know you value your space, so I wanted you to have it here, too. Just because we’re living together doesn’t mean you have to stop being who you are” (182). He also says that this relationship is serious for him, and though they are not ready yet, he hopes to propose one day. He feels like something is holding Daphne back and would like her to feel safe sharing her honesty with him but is willing to wait. Daphne tells Jake that she loves him.

Daphne meets Hugo for coffee. She talks about her reluctance to tell Jake about her medical condition, saying that her experience with Hugo makes her worried about Jake’s reaction. Hugo insists that he was “not an asshole about it” (185), and when Daphne retorts that they broke up over it, he reminds her that she broke up with him, not the other way around.

Daphne insists that Hugo was scared of her condition. Hugo disagrees but adds that if she wants someone who will not be afraid to face that kind of hardship, then Jake is the right person. He calls Jake a “safety net” and says, “He’s going to show up for you” (186). Daphne fears that it would be cruel of her to stay with Jake and then die young. Hugo insists that she is allowed to be happy and that she deserves it and needs to let herself have it. When Daphne asks what Hugo wants, Hugo replies, “This isn’t about me. If you’re looking for an excuse to run, you won’t find it here. I’m not going to give you that” (187).

Daphne finally tells Jake about her heart condition, and he responds as well as Hugo predicted. He is upset that she did not tell him sooner but says that it changes nothing between them. He wants to support her and face it together.

They then begin the process of fitting Daphne’s things into Jake’s apartment. Daphne packs up her apartment, placing items in storage and giving things to her parents. Her mother is sad that she is letting so many things go, but Daphne says that she should not have so much stuff anyway. Three weeks after Daphne has settled into the apartment, Jake takes Daphne out to dinner, reveals an emerald ring, and proposes. As Jake opens the ring box, Daphne pictures him opening a “magical door” and offering her a life. She accepts.

Daphne celebrates her engagement with Kendra and Irina and thanks them for their support. After her break up with Tae, she kept herself distant and did not allow herself to become close friends with anyone until Irina and Kendra. She especially appreciates that Irina never treated her differently, like she is fragile or weak.

Irina says that she loves Daphne and then feels awkward. Daphne asks about Penelope, and Irina says that they have a lot of love but not enough compatibility. She adds that no matter what the movies say, “love is not enough […] but it’s also nearly impossible to let go of one you’ve found it” (196-97). As much as a relationship needs love, it also needs practicality and stability.

Daphne flashes back to her relationship with Josh. After her breakup with Tae, she finds the job with the tech start-up in San Francisco and leaves home for the first time. She is excited because it is someplace new where no one knows about her illness. Within days of moving to San Francisco, she meets and dates Noah. When that ends, she meets Josh.

Josh is her boss. For the first few weeks at the company, they do not interact. Then, one day by the printers, she finds a piece of paper that reads, “Josh, six months” (201). She feels elated because after her health issues, “six months [feels] like forever. [She] could swim in that much time […] bathe in it” (201).

Daphne asks Josh out to dinner. He is nervous because of his position as her boss. He insists on speaking with human resources first and signing paperwork to ensure that if they break up, he cannot fire her. Only then does he agree to dinner. Daphne’s relationship with Josh feels shockingly normal. Occasionally, he talks about his ex-girlfriend, but Daphne’s only worry is that he sometimes seems more concerned about having a girlfriend rather than specifically wanting her.

After six months, Josh announces that he is getting back together with his ex. He ran into her by accident and realized that he still loves her. Though Josh wants her to remain with the company, Daphne quits a week later. A month after that, Josh gets married, and Daphne realizes for the first time that she wants to feel “that cherished, to be that chosen” (210). However, admitting her desire means accepting the possibility of never finding it, which terrifies her. After her breakup with Josh, Daphne vows to never doubt the notes again.

Back in the present, Jake suggests a September wedding, four months away. Daphne feels like Jake is rushing things. Then, Jake says that he would like to have a serious conversation about the prospect of children. Daphne does not believe that she can physically have children, but Jake wants to know if she wants them. She replies, “I kind of decided it wasn’t possible, and then I put it in a box, and I’ve never taken it out to think about whether I actually want it or not” (213).

Daphne knows that Jake does want children, but he promises that he is not trying to push her: He just wants to understand where she stands. Daphne says that she is not sure “if [she’ll] ever want to open that box” (215). Daphne fears that even asking the question ignores the reality of her situation. She would prefer that they accept that she will never be healthy and not pretend otherwise.

She then wonders about “what our responsibility is to other people, how much we owe them. Whose job is it to look out for our own happiness. Us, or the people who love us? It’s both, of course. We owe ourselves and each other. But in what order?” (215). She feels a sudden intense desire to protect Jake from her illness and from more loss. She also wonders if she has been confusing her desire to protect him with a different kind of love. She wonders if, deep down, Jake is trying to save her and fears what will happen when he fails.