Everything We Never Said

Many characters try to repress their feelings, such as how Sawyer and Ella attempt to disregard their attraction to one another due to misplaced loyalty to Hayley. Sam and Sawyer both try to avoid dealing with the anger that results from their childhood abuse, and Hayley tries to ignore her feeling of unlovability—caused, in part, by Phoebe’s emotional abuse—but it resurfaces in her relationship with Sam, causing her to act in ways that she cannot explain or justify. Ironically, it is Sam Wilkens whose words introduce this theme, but the experiences of nearly every significant character demonstrate its truthfulness.

Sam, a school psychologist, foregrounds the importance of “letting [one]self feel the feelings” (103), however painful and difficult. This is ironic because Sam never accepts responsibility for his violent and abusive behavior or deals with his anger, which might allow his emotional wounds to heal. However, his training highlights the fact that the path to healing is through acknowledging one’s feelings and working through them.

Sawyer is the character whose experiences highlight the theme most clearly. While he recognizes that his feelings about Ella are hugely significant, he decides to “do what [he’s] been doing for a while: […] bury and ignore [them]” (92).