49 pages • 1 hour read
Everything We Never Said
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Character Analysis
Ella Graham
Ella is the novel’s protagonist, and she is a dynamic, round character. Her initial lack of self-confidence is represented by her tendency to apologize for actions and feelings that require no apology. Before the accident, Ella felt like she embodied her mother’s idea of the perfect daughter; she believes that the accident, however, revealed her flaws, creating her mother’s disappointment, which makes Ella feel terribly guilty. She also feels guilt and shame regarding the accident because she was driving and had been drinking before the crash. When Ella discovers that she is not to blame, and that she has managed frightening events and survived, she is finally able to move on. Her mother takes responsibility for having “no idea how to handle everything […] with Hayley” and assures Ella that “no matter what [Ella’s] done, no matter who [she] is, […] [she’d] always be [their] perfect Ella” (282). Instead of trying to squash or avoid her feelings, Ella allows herself to “feel […] everything. Everything” (286), and she knows that she is “so much more” than the frightened, helpless girl she was before Hayley’s disappearance (287). Her new self-confidence and self-awareness are revealed by the way she stops offering unnecessary apologies, which Sawyer helpfully identifies.
Ella is a loyal friend to Hayley, which is demonstrated by the guilt she feels when she develops feelings for Sawyer. She is also shocked to learn that there is so much that Hayley hid from her, causing her to feel guiltier. Although Ella was less loyal to Seema, she takes responsibility for the pain that her abandonment caused, though she was only 10 when Hayley entered her life and took Seema’s place. Although Ella makes the morally ambiguous choice to read Hayley’s private diary, her intentions are good. She is eager to learn more about the accident she cannot remember and to feel close to Hayley once again. When she reads about the abuse that Hayley endured, she is eager to prevent it from happening to someone else. Her character’s development from someone who is naïve and in need of protection from the world into an emotionally mature, self-aware, and confident individual is embodied in Hayley’s description of Ella as a phoenix, one who rises from the metaphorical ashes of her old life to become a new, empowered version of herself.
Sawyer Hawkins
Sawyer is a dynamic, though flat, supporting character. He is motivated by the desire to avoid becoming like his abusive father and to take care of others. His most significant personal change is that he learns that he must stop bottling up his feelings and acknowledge them so that he can deal with them. He learns that guilt and anger can persuade a person to suffer in silence and blame others for their problems, and this is a fast track to eschewing responsibility for one’s choices. When Hayley tells him that Sam is abusing her, he recognizes that she is a victim in the situation, and he responds with sympathy and offers of assistance. It is his idea to fake Hayley’s death after the accident to protect both Hayley and Ella from Sam, and in Hayley’s absence, he realizes that “it’s only [him] now, only [him] here to stand above [Ella] and snarl at the world” (27). He longs to protect Ella from life’s hardships and difficult truths, and—as she becomes more resilient and capable of protecting herself—he learns to back off.
Sawyer struggles with unresolved anger and resentment, the effects of the abuse he suffered as a child and of his mother’s difficult life. This anger is reignited by Sam’s abuse of Hayley, something that only Sawyer knows about. He can only watch as Sam counsels other students—including Ella—because he is not at liberty to reveal Sam’s manipulation or true nature. He refers to the “toxic snarl of sludge that’s been filling [him] from gut to throat” and his inability to sleep through the night because of his fury at Sam (27), as well as the world’s unfair treatment of his mother. She had Sawyer at 15 and now works three jobs to support him and his younger brother. He harbors a lot of guilt for this, demonstrated by his readiness to tell her potential employer about “everything [she’s] been through, why [she] couldn’t go to college,” and he says, “I’ll tell him how it’s me—how it’s my—” (160). He blames himself for her hardships, though they aren’t his fault. In the end, his commitment to counseling bodes well for his ability to overcome his “toxic sludge” of anger and guilt so that he can have healthy relationships.
Hayley Miller
Hayley is also a dynamic, flat, supporting character. Having been emotionally abused by her mother, Phoebe, Hayley’s guilt and self-doubt cause her to believe that men leave when she does something wrong and stay if she’s been “lovable” enough. Hayley, as she was before the accident, is presented via her diary, which Ella finds when Phoebe asks her to pack up Hayley’s room. For a long time, Hayley does not recognize that her mother was abusive when she made her believe that Phoebe’s relationship failures were her fault, and this is part of what makes it so easy for Sam to ingratiate himself with Hayley. She writes, “He listened. Like actually listened […] He had this way of coaxing me into honesty. Making me feel seen […] Like none of the shittiness of my life was actually my fault” (73). However, the only reason why Hayley believes that the “shitt[y]” things in her life are her fault is because Phoebe said so. Thus, when Sam begins to act violently, Hayley thinks that it’s her fault, too, and that she needs to be more “lovable” and try harder not to upset him.
Pregnancy is the turning point for Hayley’s character. After confirming the first test, she writes, “I didn’t realize that when S, the light of my life, the guy I adored, told me he loved me, his love meant control, his love meant mine” (215). Likewise, once she gets away from her abusers, she develops the self-awareness she lacked due to her mother’s wounding words. She writes to Ella, “Maybe Phoebe loved me in the only way she could, but I deserve better. I deserve to be protected, to be cherished, to feel safe. Instead, I was an inconvenience to her. A burden, a thing that stood between her and her chance at love” (262). Hayley realizes that she deserves better treatment than what she’s received from Phoebe and that what Sam said was love isn’t actually love at all. Further, Hayley doesn’t harbor resentment or anger against Phoebe and Sam, instead seeing how they were both victimized as well, and she applauds the relationship between Ella and Sawyer, proving what a loyal and loving friend she is.
Sam Wilkens
Sam is the novel’s flat, static antagonist who does not change or grow in the novel. He is a masterful manipulator, a trained psychologist who convinces Hayley that she “[i]s so very lucky to be loved by him” (263). His wise words and kind demeanor deceive Ella, too, making her dream of a future “where loss means misplaced keys and not [her] heart, [her] love, ripped away over and over. That life exists, [she] remember[s]” when she’s with Sam (245). However, his thoughtful and empathetic disguise hides the truth: that he thinks of himself as an innocent victim and never takes accountability for the ways he hurts others. He blames his anger on his parents, asking Ella if she knows what a childhood like his “does to someone” (254). Sam suggests that his violent behavior is the direct result of the abuse he endured rather than acknowledging it as a destructive choice he makes. Then, he blames his unethical and illegal relationship with Hayley, a minor, on the circumstances of her life. He says that Hayley “was beautiful—and destined to self-destruct. She understood what happens when your dads are faceless and violent, and your moms are Phoebes. Everything I did was to protect her” (255). Because of Sam’s experience and education, he is in a perfect position to identify Hayley’s vulnerability and prey on it, turning himself into her ideal man—one who makes her feel wanted, protected, and loved.
The final clue that Sam has not accepted any responsibility for his actions is his insistence that Hayley is to blame for the accident that his actions caused. Of that night, he tells Ella, “She forced my hand, Ella. I had no choice but to follow you, to chase…I just wanted to talk […] When your car broke through the barrier, I nearly died. A part of me did die” (255). Not only does he blame Hayley for “forc[ing] [his] hand,” implying that he had to chase the girls’ car because of something Hayley did or didn’t do, but he also then demands sympathy for his loss of Hayley, a loss that his actions precipitated. He focuses only on his pain, his trauma, and his losses, unable—or unwilling—to see how his choices cause pain, trauma, and loss to others.
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