Everything Is Illuminated

“‘One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be a family.’”

At the very beginning of the novel, Alex’s mother says this to Alex. It is not a pretty way to say it, but it is true that love requires sacrifice. This quote sets up the dynamic of Alex’s family, where there is love but not much gentle treatment, the reasons for which will be revealed later in the story.

“But I do not do these things because we are a family. I do them because they are common decencies. That is an idiom that the hero taught me. I do them because I am not a big fucking asshole. That is another idiom that the hero taught me.”

This is Alex’s response to his mother’s statement above. Alex has expanded his mother’s concept to include not just family, but other humans. He is essentially saying that you should love and treat all human beings as you would family if you are a decent human being.

“It is so queer to think of someone injuring Father. I more usually think of the roles as unmovable.”

Alex reflects on the way that new information can change your perception of a person, which in turn invites a reevaluation of that person and your relationship with them. Alex now sees his father as fallible, a shift that will allow him, much later in the story, to confront him and force him to leave. This statement also echoes the reevaluation of Grandfather he will be forced to make later, when he hears Grandfather’s story.