Everything I Know About Love

On her first Christmas back from university, Alderton readies herself for a date with Graysen, a man she met at a bar who read her palm and wore smudged “Elvis” eyeliner. Graysen takes Alderton to a martini bar and then a pub; his boss gave him a set of hotel keys, but Graysen does not explain why. Alderton and Graysen take a bus to a hotel in Ealing, and they stay up all night talking. Graysen says his father discovered a rare fish, and their family lives off the money earned from the book he wrote about it. In the morning, Graysen leaves before Alderton wakes up and gifts her a peach pastry. She never sees him again. Years later, Alderton dates a biology PhD student who has the book about the rare fish, and Alderton laughs upon realizing Graysen was in fact a real person: “it was so ridiculous” (53).

On New Year’s Eve, Alderton and Farly ask their friends if there are any good parties happening so they do not have to sit at Alderton’s mother’s house all night. One friend, Felix, on whom Alderton has a crush, says he is hosting a rave in Cobham. When Alderton and Farly arrive, they see it is not a rave—it is barely even a party.