43 pages • 1 hour read
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Madeline completes an architecture assignment for her high school tutor, who notes that she has placed an astronaut figurine with a helmet in her building model—as is her tradition—with food in front of it. The tutor asks how the astronaut will eat the food with the helmet on, a question Madeline had not considered.
Madeline learns that Carla knows about Olly and Madeline’s fascination with him. Carla says that it’s fine with her if the two keep communicating, as long as Madeline won’t be devastated if the family moves away. Madeline immediately starts pestering Carla to let Olly come to the house, and Carla eventually allows it, albeit with strict rules about the two not touching and staying on opposite sides of the room. Just before she goes downstairs to meet him, Madeline excitedly sends Olly an email to read later.
Madeline meets Olly in the house’s artificially heated sunroom, which is filled with fake tropical plants and contains a stream. He’s full of nervous energy, climbing up the stone wall of the room, but eventually comes down and channels his energy into intent attention toward Madeline. Madeline finds that she’s physically attracted to Olly. The two banter for a while, feeling self-conscious over meeting for the first time yet comfortable because of their online conversations. Carla eventually comes to tell Olly it’s time for him to leave.
In the days afterward, Madeline experiences a “disease” she nicknames “Hysterical Abdominal Rhopalocera.” Rhopalocera is a scientific name for a group of butterflies, and the “disease” is the butterflies in her stomach whenever she thinks about Olly. She monitors several of her physical sensations caused by excitement and anxiety and worries she might be sick. Carla claims Madeline’s just in love, and Madeline eventually agrees—although she describes herself as being in serious “like” rather than love. She begins to intensely long for Olly—a new feeling for her, since she has learned to be content with a mundane existence.
Uneasy because of her intense longing and fear she’ll be disappointed, Madeline makes excuses to Olly about being busy over the weekend. Nevertheless, she’s disappointed when he doesn’t email her back anyway. She talks it over with Carla, who encourages her to reach out to Olly even though it makes her nervous.
Madeline and Olly chat online, and Madeline apologizes for the curt email. The two catch up a bit and agree to be friends going forward, although there are still flirtatious undertones in their conversation and it’s understood that they may be “more than friends.” Carla makes Madeline and Olly wait a week between visits to make sure Madeline can handle the exposure to someone new. Madeline passes the time by inventing inane tasks for herself like watching glue dry and measuring the shadows of household objects.
Madeline nervously prepares for Olly to visit again, choosing an outfit from her standardized wardrobe of white t-shirts, jeans, and white sneakers. She goes downstairs to the sunroom, where Olly is waiting. She finds him at the top of the stone wall.
The two converse, and Madeline alludes to the fact that her dad and brother were killed when she was a baby by a truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel. Olly wishes that people’s behavior could be controlled by inputs, as if they were math formulas, and laments that people are so unpredictable. The implication is that such control would prevent violent behavior like his dad’s. After their visit, Madeline knows she’s falling in love with Olly and gives in to her feelings for him.
Madeline realizes that keeping Olly’s visits a secret from her mom is causing them to drift apart. Nonetheless, she keeps communicating with him online and orders colorful t-shirts and shoes to try and look more attractive to him when they get together, and to express the joy he awakens in her. The clothes have names with adjectives that describe Madeline’s feelings for Olly, like enlivened, enraptured, and giddy, and are purchased with Pauline’s credit card. Madeline observes Olly’s family’s behavior from her window; his father grows increasingly violent, aggressive, and hostile toward Olly, Kara, and their mom
Olly comes to visit Madeline and tells her about the beginning of his dad’s alcoholism and anger. When Olly was 10, his father was fired from his job in New York City; it’s implied that he was under suspicion of fraud before being let go. After that, his dad began drinking heavily and taking his anger at being fired out on his family.
The distance between Madeline and Pauline grows, and Madeline cancels a movie night with her mom to chat with Olly online. Carla says that Pauline has worriedly asked her if anything seems different about Madeline and that Pauline is hurt by Madeline’s sudden withdrawal. Carla then forbids Olly from coming over again, but she later relents and says the two can see each other so long as Madeline tries to stay connected to her mom.
Madeline applies for her own credit card, called the Freedom Card.
Madeline and Olly’s feelings for each other develop into romantic interest and intensify. After panicking about the vulnerability that her feelings create and briefly pushing Olly away, Madeline reaches out to him again, confirming the seriousness of their relationship. Olly reciprocates by sharing the intimate story of his dad’s violence and alcoholism. This mutual vulnerability indicates the emotional intimacy that will drive Madeline and Olly to become physically intimate later in the book. Madeline’s decision to buy more colorful clothing symbolizes how Olly is changing her, introducing variety and a more optimistic, energetic outlook to her life.
Olly’s presence in Madeline’s life, and the necessity of keeping it secret, begins driving Madeline away from her mother, in keeping with the book’s coming-of-age storyline. She also secretly applies for her own credit card, a symbol of independence and adulthood, and another sign that her unquestioning loyalty to and openness with Pauline are weakening. The fact that the card is called the Freedom Card emphasizes this idea even more. The tension between Madeline and her mother, the book’s main conflict, begins simmering in this section before boiling to a climax later in the book. The action continues to rise toward that climax as Madeline’s emotional journey draws her closer to Olly and further from Pauline.
As Madeline’s relationship with Pauline grows increasingly strained, Carla takes on greater importance as the mediator of Madeline and Olly’s relationship. She facilitates their meetings, although she enforces what she views as reasonable boundaries in their visits—boundaries that Madeline and Olly, true to the nature of coming-of-age protagonists, begin to push by physically touching and eventually kissing. The fact that the two meet in the sunroom of Madeline’s house, which is designed to imitate a tropical setting, foreshadows their trip to the tropical island of Maui later in the book. Similarly, the emotional intimacy in this part of the book foreshadows the more intense emotional and sexual connection they experience on their trip.
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By Nicola Yoon