Eleven Minutes

“During the interminable school holidays that followed, she woke up one morning to find that she had blood on her legs and was convinced she was going to die. She decided to leave a letter for the boy, telling him that he had been the great love of her life, and then she would go off into the bush and doubtless be killed by one of the two monsters that terrorized the country people round about: the werewolf and the mula-sem-cabeça, said to be a priest’s mistress transformed into a mule and then to doomed wonder the night. That way, her parents wouldn’t suffer too much over her death, for, although constantly beset by tragedies, the poor are always hopeful and her parents would persuade themselves that she had been kidnapped by a wealthy, childless family, but would return one day, rich and famous, while the current and eternal love of her life would never forget her, torturing himself each day for not having spoken to her again.”

From Maria’s youngest school days, she perpetually fell in love with one boy after another. Here she refers to a boy she saw daily as they walked to school, though they never spoke. This passage records her first experience with menstruation, which occurs during her summer break from school. Her mother had not prepared her for this eventuality. It is also clear from this that she is a dreamer with a vivid imagination. Over time, her fanciful view of life becomes much more realistic, though she never loses her creativity, adventurous spirit, or the desire to be yoked to her one true love, whoever that might be.

“But love is a terrible thing: I’ve seen my girlfriends suffer and I don’t want the same thing to happen to me. They used to laugh at me and my innocence, but now they ask me how it is I manage men so well. I smile and say nothing, because I know that the remedy is worse than the pain: I simply don’t fall in love. With each day that passes, I see more clearly how fragile men are, how inconstant, insecure and surprising they are...A few of my girlfriends’ fathers have propositioned me, but I’ve always refused. At first, I was shocked, but now I think it’s just the way men are. Although my aim is to understand love, and although I suffer to think of the people to whom I gave my heart, I see that those who touch my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who arouse my body failed to touch my heart.”

This passage comes from Maria’s diary, in which she records her experiences throughout the narrative. After suffering heartbreak a couple of times because of thoughtless boyfriends and the machinations of cruel girlfriends, Maria goes through a time of experimentation, including sexual intercourse. She does not understand why the experience of sex never seems to equal the romantic ideal of love. Maria responds to this curiosity with personal investigation, resulting in her having a greater depth of knowledge than the typical teenager about both men and sex.