Elena Vanishing

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of disordered eating (anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa), self-harm, and pregnancy loss.

Food is the central motif in Elena Vanishing and the tangible mechanism through which Elena’s trauma and shattered self-image manifest. Elena’s self-hatred expresses itself in the forms of fear and anger, which express themselves in the form of restricted eating. Elena explains how losing weight feels like a cleansing process to her: “Even at my lowest weight, I didn’t like my body. I wanted it slimmer, smaller, finer, until it erased itself completely. I wanted my body to melt away like mud sliding off a sheet of glass, until the clarity of my soul could shine through” (193). By shedding weight, she hopes she can also shed the memories and trauma of her past. Food is therefore a constant thought in Elena’s mind, right alongside thoughts of her appearance and weight. She refrains from eating as much as possible, and when she does eat, she often purges afterward. Elena’s struggle with food began in her early adolescence and, she suspects, will continue throughout her life. While she is now healthy, she still battles with a

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