Elena Vanishing

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of disordered eating (anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa), self-harm, mental illness (including psychosis), sexual assault, cursing and pregnancy loss.

“Anger and bewilderment are forms of admiration. It’s pity I can’t stand.”

Throughout Elena’s journey of recovery, Elena’s mental framing of the treatment she receives changes from mistrust and hostility to gratitude. Initially, Elena believes that people who express empathy for her situation are pitying her, and she convinces herself that people who react with shock are in awe of her discipline and self-control.

“What is a face? Nothing but the sum of its parts. If each part is right, the sum will be right, too.”

Elena’s concern about how she looks is obsessive and unhealthy. She constantly analyzes and criticizes herself. She wants to give the impression that she is in control, even when she is hospitalized and extremely ill. She keeps a makeup bag under her pillow, fearing how others might see her if she shows them her true self, which supports the theme of The Desire for Perfection and Total Self-Control.

“Is this a movie? Is this real? Do I care what’s real?”

In depicting the periods of time in which Elena experiences dissociation or blackouts, the narrative becomes highly interior. As Elena travels from Germany to the United States, she struggles to distinguish what is real from what her mind is imagining because of diminished health paired with extreme stress. It demonstrates a combination of The Physical and Psychological Experiences of Living with an Eating Disorder.