Eat Pray Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

“I do not address my prayers to The Universe, The Great Void, The Force, The Supreme Self, The Whole, The Creator, The Light, the Higher Power or even the most poetic manifestation of God’s name, taken, I believe, from the Gnostic gospels: ‘The Shadow of the Turning.’”

Liz explains her direct address to “God” whom she regards as “Him.” These other names feel impersonal to her, and “God” to her is the most accurate name for the indescribable. Even though Liz presents journalistic detail about the world’s religions and practices, the research reveals Ketut’s conclusion is right when he says “all” is a “circle” and all religions are the “same.” Liz’s ashram devotion demonstrates to her that God is within.

“In a way, this little episode has all the hallmarks of a typical Christian conversion experience—the dark night of the soul, the call for help, the responding voice, the sense of transformation.”

This passage is the beginning of a religious conversation that will open an “exploratory dialogue” that brings Liz closer to God. Although much of the spiritual evolution described in Eat Pray Love takes place at a Hindu ashram, Liz’s pivotal encounter with the divine is recognizably Christian. This passage illustrates the book’s theme of Spirituality/Prayer. Gilbert believes that religions are ultimately the same.

 “You have now reached infatuation’s final destination—the complete and merciless devaluation of self.”

When Liz’s relationship with David falls apart, on top of her failed marriage, her sense of self is destroyed. She was addicted to David who now finds her repulsive and retreats from her like an infection. She loses 30 pounds during this time. This is the low point from which Liz builds a new and stronger sense of herself.

“I guess I want to learn how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God.”

Liz may ask the Balinese medicine man, Ketut, only one question. He discerns she seeks balance, and he draws the picture of the praying androgynous figure with four legs, no head, and a smiling face over the heart. He says that she must start looking at the world through her heart instead of her head. She returns to Bali to study with Ketut, and she achieves the balance she sought through her year of travel.

“I wanted what the Greeks called kalos kai agatho, the singular balance of the good and the beautiful.”

Liz wants to go to Italy, visit her guru’s ashram in India, and return to Bali to study with the medicine man. She gets clear about wishing to create a life that will synchronize the three passions in her life. Liz knows she needs to change herself to change her life, but she is not sure how to integrate the things that are most meaningful to her into a coherent self. Social Structure is one of the book’s major themes, yet her freedom from the constraints of social structure leaves her unsure about how to shape her life.

“I intend to do everything I can to prove him wrong or at least to fight that melancholic tendency with every tool in the shed.”

The doctor who prescribes anti-depressants for Liz thinks she may need to take them on and off for the rest of her life to treat her tendency toward melancholy. She fights taking them in Italy, but she says that depression and loneliness continue to stalk her.

“But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane.”

Liz sees that she needs boundaries. She has been involved with a “guy” since she was 15, and she finds that she disappears into the person she loves. During her affair with David, a friend notices she started to look like him, talk like him, and dress like him. She wants to break the cycle. When she is falling in love with Felipe, she realizes that in past relationships, she has fallen in love with the man’s “potential” rather than the man himself. She intends that this time will be different.

“The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve.”

The Augusteum, one of Liz’s favorite places in Rome, has undergone many incarnations over the centuries, depending on the success or failure of the occupants as they gain or lose power. The Augusteum endures the vicissitudes of fortune. It encourages Liz not to become too attached to outcomes.

“Still, when I look at myself in the mirror of the best pizzeria in Naples, I see a bright-eyed, clear-skinned, happy and healthy face. I haven’t seen a face like that on me for a long time.”

Liz has regained the weight she lost during her “dark night” and added a little more. Italy has restored her physical health as well as her mental health. By the time she reaches Bali, she is transformed. Ketut tells her that she was “ugly” the first time she visited him. Now she is “pretty.” The passage illustrates the book’s theme of Food/Nourishment. Liz’s path toward spiritual healing runs through her body.

“Her solitary nature means she needs a family to keep her from loneliness; my gregarious nature means I will never have to worry about being alone, even when I’m single.”

Catherine visits Liz in Rome, emphasizing the difference between the two siblings. Unlike Catherine, Liz makes friends wherever she goes. She doesn’t need a family. When they were growing up, Liz expected her to be the one with a family and Catherine a solitary scholar. Liz relies on her gregarious nature during her year of travel, and the ashram uses it to advantage by making her the “Key Hostess.”

“Across the broad continent of a woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword.”

Virginia Woolf observes that on one side of the sword lies “convention” where everything is “correct” and on the other side, “all is confusion.” Liz has chosen the confusion, which makes life more interesting but also more perilous. Woolf’s observation serves as a “touchstone” for Liz for understanding her approach to her life and career. Liz is willing to give up the advantages of Social Structure for freedom and self-discovery.

“The Bhagavad Gita—that ancient Indian Yogic text—says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”

Liz has chosen the unconventional path. Her travel to India is imminent, and she takes comfort in yogic confirmation. This statement also confirms her acceptance of the “confusion” side of Virginia Woolf’s sword.

“There were a few years there, lost in borderless despair, when I used to experience all the world’s sadness as my own.”

Liz visits Venice, described by a Venetian restauranteur as a melancholy city regarded by everyone who lives there as a “tomb.” Liz is now healthy enough to be able to recognize the difference between her melancholy and the city’s melancholy. She has begun to develop boundaries. Just as she used to become like the men in her relationships, to even look and dress like them, she used to absorb and reflect the emotional attributes of her environment.

“Namely, I am so grateful to be free tonight from the depression that had been gnawing at me like a rat over the years, a depression that had chewed such perforations in my soul that I would not, at one time, have been able to enjoy even such a lovely night as this.”

Liz’s experience in Italy has empowered her to overcome the depression that has stalked her for years. She shares her gratitude at the American Thanksgiving/Luca Spaghetti Birthday party. She says this in Italy, but she experiences depression again in India when her “monkey mind” wrestles with it in meditation. The plumber/poet from New Zealand gives her “Instructions for Freedom.” When she follows them on the temple rooftop, she feels so free that she does a handstand.

“In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.”

Liz visits Sicily during her last week in Italy. She makes a comparison between herself and the Sicilian people, comparing her bouts of depression after her divorce with centuries of murderous tyranny. She has discovered her “crisis of identity” can be overcome with the pleasure of good meals and that the appreciation of pleasure can anchor one’s humanity.

“You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

Liz wrestles with the “monkey mind” in her meditation. She can’t listen effectively to God when the mind keeps talking to her and reminding her of her emotional attachments. Her primary task at the ashram will be quieting the “monkey mind” to experience inner peace.

“But if you can surpass those thoughts, Teresa explained, and ascend toward God, it is a glorious bewilderment, a heavenly madness, in which true wisdom is acquired.”

Saint Teresa of Avila inspires Liz when she writes in her memoirs of the challenge during meditation: to not stir up the intellect which extinguishes the “fire of God.” If Saint Teresa overcame it, Liz can, too. Liz finds encouragement in the paths taken by the saints and by the Buddha and Swamiji.

“Most of humanity, he said, have eyes that are so caked shut with the dust of deception they will never see the truth, no matter who tries to help them.”

Gilbert says that the Buddha knew only a small minority of people would benefit from his teaching, but he decided to become the teacher for that minority, “those of little dust.” The devotees at the ashram are part of that minority. Liz wants to be a part of it too.

“David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.”

Richard from Texas gives Liz his opinion about her way of being in relationships and confronts her with the insight that David, whom Liz considers a soul mate, came into her life to show her what was holding her back and to awaken her. Richard and her other friends at the ashram grow weary of hearing Liz’s recitation of her guilt.

“If something is rubbing so hard against you, you can be sure it’s working on you. This is what the Gurugita does. It burns away the ego, turns you into pure ash.”

Liz resists the Gurugita that Swamiji designed as a purifying practice to burn away negative emotions. After a monk at the ashram gives her this explanation, she alters her attitude, gets over her anger toward Swamiji, makes the Gurugita her most holy practice, and decides to stay at the ashram for an additional six weeks.

“Suffice it to say for our purposes that everyone in Bali is in a clan, that everyone knows which clan he is in, and that everyone knows which clan everyone else is in.”

Hinduism, with its caste system and complex social hierarchy, came to Bali in the 16th century with the Javanese kings and royal families. Gilbert says that everyone knows his place. This applies to Ketut who is fourth-caste but treats first-caste patients, to Wayan who is divorced and therefore denounced. Mario is only happy when he knows exactly where he is “located.” If he loses balance, Gilbert says, he loses power.

“What I’m here to do is work on my own equilibrium, and this still feels, at least for now, like a nourishing climate in which to do that.”

Liz’s research about Bali uncovers corruption. People may look “balanced,” and advertise peace and devotion to tourists, but underneath there are “hidden stresses.” Liz came to search for a balance between worldly pleasure and spiritual devotion, and she can still do that here. She takes advantage of the corruption to get her visa extended, but that’s all she will learn about it as an outsider.

“I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems, which says God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now.”

Wayan is thrilled to learn about the money for her house and wonders what she would have done if Liz had never come to Bali. Liz remembers this poem. Its truth extends far beyond Wayan and includes her “chance” meetings with Ketut and Felipe. She sometimes thinks that all is pre-ordained, meant to happen, perhaps through karma.