Dry

Back in the hospital, Pighead undergoes a variety of tests, but it’s still unclear what’s causing his symptoms—persistent hiccups. Burroughs feels powerless to help. After group therapy one night, he confesses to Foster that he’s afraid “of everything.” Foster invites him to his apartment for a “Cheez Whiz and pimento sandwich with potato chips” (149). Hayden is alarmed at Burroughs spending time with someone recovering from a cocaine addiction, but Foster’s jittery body language is somehow comforting to Burroughs. They chat and flirt and look at photos, Burroughs swept up in physical attraction. The experience triggers a memory: the two-year “relationship” with his abuser who confessed his love for Burroughs; how “normal” the abuse became over time; the man’s obsession for Burroughs; the manipulative love letters in which he accused Burroughs of abusing him; and his eventual disappearance. Sensing Burroughs’s distance, Foster pulls him into a comforting embrace; but Burroughs knows he’s heading down a dangerous path, so he leaves, feeling guilty at the same time as wanting desperately to return.

At home, Hayden warns Burroughs about “defocusing”—redirecting his mental energy toward something (or someone) other than his sobriety. The challenge from Hayden, plus Pighead’s health, triggers a craving, and Burroughs feels perversely happy to use Pighead’s hospitalization as an excuse for spending time with Foster.