Does My Head Look Big In This?

Through contrasting the older generations of characters with the younger, the author introduces a significant theme of generational differences, which are in this novel especially powerful because older characters are immigrants to Australia. The parent (or grandparent) generation has adapted to Australian life only to a certain extent, and most of the traditions, beliefs, and customs that they have brought with them from their countries of origin are still in place. This often makes it difficult for them to understand that the younger generation has grown up in Australia, thus adopting mostly Australian customs and ways of understanding life, and these are often at odds with the traditions from other places. Also, a significant aspect to consider is the globalization effect of the 21st century, by which most of the younger generations adopt a globalist view of the whole world as their country, being under the influence of popular culture phenomena that spread fast over the planet though internet technologies.

Leila’s mother, Gulchin, comes from Turkey, but a Turkey from a long time ago, and the standards of behavior she believes to be proper have drastically changed over time. The Turkey she remembers does not exist anymore because the country has changed with the advance of time, but her beliefs have petrified, as she is caught somewhere in between two countries and two eras. Leila suffers because of her mother’s beliefs and the cultural pattern she follows, because they have not grown and changed with time and with the adaptation to Australia. Gulchin wants Leila to abandon school and marry at 16. Leila must fight for her freedom to choose what she feels is best for her, something most other people today take for granted.

Eileen’s Japanese parents behave in the same manner: They believe in a set of standards they have carried over from Japan, and they expect their daughter to accept the same standards even though they might not complement her identity as an Australian. Mrs. Vaselli has renounced her son because he converted after marrying a Jehovah’s Witness, so she cannot believe in his salvation, which is the main tenet of her religion. In all these examples, we see that the traditional belief stands in the way of understanding the changing of times and customs, and that characters who belong to older generations have failed to adapt to this change. The author thus creates a powerful message through parts of the plot that cause Leila’s mother and Mrs. Vaselli to reexamine their beliefs, and while not renouncing them, accept that their children must live the lives they personally choose to live.   

This theme is relevant not only as it pertains to Amal’s decision to wear a hijab, and how that might affect her future prospects, but also in a wider context of male-female relations, and the demands contemporary culture places upon women today.

Amal and her friends experience various pressures in contemporary society as young women, even before the added issues of ethnicity or religion come into play. The author carefully depicts the role that society expects girls to play to be appreciated and accepted. Simone is obsessed with losing weight because her mother believes that Simone will only be attractive and find love if she is thin. Yasmeen worries about her hair and makeup and dedicates much time to prettifying herself so that boys will find her attractive. Amal tries on outfits for hours so that she will look good when she goes out. The modern society teaches women to internalize the demands that in essence come from the “male gaze” (which assumes that the idea of attractiveness and acceptability of a woman builds itself from attracting men, and that men decide which women are desirable/acceptable. In the animal world, the positions are the opposite: The males have to show off and fight for female attention, because the females choose a mating partner.).

Once Amal begins wearing the hijab, she finds that boys are afraid of her. She has introduced a religious component into her looks (which most young men have already learned to use as the main criterion of value in girls), and one that hides her hair, which many consider a big part of female attractiveness. Boys receive mixed messages from Amal’s action: Is she still attractive, and is she available? Even Adam, who appears to be more mature and understanding, fails to grasp that Amal’s faith forbids her to date, and is hurt and angered when she rejects his advances. The author shows that Amal feels a lot of pressure because of her religion and her decision: She runs a risk of both boys and girls rejecting her as inappropriate because she breaks the “rules” of attraction and male-female relations. Similarly, Simone has internalized her mother’s and society’s ideas on body consciousness, and she develops serious confidence issues because she does not fit into the expected norm of attractiveness. Even when Josh shows clear signs of liking her as she is, she finds that almost impossible to believe, because she has learned that her weight will always make her undesirable.

Ironically, because they belong to the same religion, just as Amal cannot date (and even though Amal’s parents are sympathetic and not strict, they are observing Muslims and they believe in female chastity before marriage), Leila cannot pursue her academic goals because she must date and marry at 16, according to her parents. On the other hand, Leila’s brother can do whatever he wants, take drugs, and womanize, because as a male he has learned that he is superior to women and that he can always make his own decisions. These examples show that young women in today’s society often learn to accept themselves as objects of the male gaze, and the author shows how hard it can be to free oneself from such pressures and from internalized patriarchy.