Disgraced

“Not seeing you. Not seeing who you really are. Not until you started to deal with him. And the deftness with which you did that. You made him see that gap. Between what he was assuming about you and what you really are.”

Emily is painting Amir because she was particularly moved by the experience of a waiter being racist to her husband. She believes that she has understood something profound in that the waiter was rude and dismissive until Amir demonstrated that he was a person of substance and revealed himself for who he was. But the incident does not stand out to Amir because racism is something he has experienced his entire life. Emily’s statement suggests that Amir had to prove that he was important in order to command respect.

“If anything, I guess I should be grateful to José, right? Broke your dad in. I mean at least I spoke English.”

Amir brings up his wife’s ex-boyfriends with a hint of jealousy. This joke about Emily’s family reveals a lot about Emily’s upbringing. The play focuses on the way Islam and Judaism can instill certain values and prejudices, but Emily’s upbringing as a White girl comes with its own racism and bias. Her seeming tendency to date men who are not White is an act of rebellion against her parents. In fact, Emily’s father still mentions José. Emily may attempt to overcorrect her White-centered rearing by romanticizing Islam and other cultures, but she does so without understanding the intricacies of her own privilege.