Dinners With Ruth

Totenberg entitles her prologue “Bouillabaisse for Ruth” in reference to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s favorite kind of soup, which Totenberg frequently served her at their weekly dinners. The author reflects on Ginsburg’s recurrent illnesses in her later years, recalling that she was always determined to overcome her health conditions and often worked from her hospital bed. The 50-year friendship began when the author met Ginsburg over the phone in 1971. While both women were dedicated to their careers, Totenberg feels that their friendship lasted because of their shared interests in food, music, and shopping, and their continued loyalty to each other through the ups and downs of their lives. Totenberg admiringly recalls Ginsburg’s calm demeanor as she went to work the day after her husband’s passing, and remembers her appreciation that Totenberg managed to go to his memorial in spite of other commitments. The author emphasizes that her close friendship with Ginsburg was built on their mutual reliability, explaining that neither was “gossipy” or “confessional” by nature, and they kept firm boundaries between their friendship and their careers (xii).

Totenberg praises close, reciprocal friendships for occupying an important role in people’s lives. The author reflects on becoming friends with Ginsburg, noting that while they had similar personal backgrounds as the children of Jewish immigrants, they had major differences too (2).