Dinners With Ruth

The author confesses that she found it difficult to support her close friend Cokie when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. While Totenberg remained close to her during this time, she found it too painful to accompany Cokie to chemo since Totenberg had recently lost her husband Floyd to illness. While Totenberg knew that Cokie’s cancer was spreading aggressively, she refused to believe she could lose her friend to the illness. Cokie survived for 14 more years after undergoing experimental treatment. Reflecting on this experience, Totenberg says she learned that everyone has limitations as to what they can offer their friends.

Totenberg fondly remembers spending most Saturday nights with Cokie, Linda, and their husbands at dinner and the movies. The author claims that she never felt a sense of competition with these friends despite the fact that they worked together; instead, they enjoyed each other’s support at NPR.

Ginsburg’s husband, Marty, was extremely supportive of her career and actively encouraged her to pursue her goals, which he aided in as much as he could. Totenberg argues that this was highly unusual for a man of his generation, and praises Marty for being “proud and supportive” and “never threatened by her accomplishments” (195).