Dibs in Search of Self: The Renowned, Deeply Moving Story of an Emotionally Lost Child Who Found His Way Back

Dibs: In Search of Self (1964) is a memoir by child psychologist Dr. Virginia M. Axline, which details her “play therapy” sessions with a five-year-old boy named Dibs who, prior to treatment, shut out the world and his own abilities—but who, through a safe environment, is able to find himself again. Dr. Axline was a child psychologist and researcher during the mid-20th century who was inspired by the humanistic approach devised by psychologist Carl Rogers. She developed a form of play therapy that involves no interference, coaxing, or declining—an approach still used today in therapeutic and educational settings.

This guide is based on the 1986 Mass Market Paperback edition of the memoir.

Content Warning: Dibs: In Search of Self discusses emotional abuse and mental health in ways that could be considered ableist.

Summary

Dibs: In Search of Self opens with an Introduction by child psychologist Leonard Carmichael. He explains the impact of Dr. Virginia M. Axline’s play therapy on the titular Dibs, a five-year-old boy. Dr. Axline’s revolutionary approach to child therapy relies on the child patient leading the sessions, while their therapist provides a safe presence; through this approach, Dibs is able to find the confidence to appreciate himself, use his abilities, and engage with others.

Dr. Axline’s time with Dibs begins with a snapshot of his life at school. He spends his time not speaking to or looking at anyone. He shows an interest in reading and seems to listen when teachers talk to him, but doesn’t respond. After two years, Dibs’s teachers call Dr. Axline. Dr. Axline takes Dibs to the school’s playroom to observe him. Inside the playroom, he seems cautious. He walks around the room, touching and tentatively naming objects, and then plays with a dollhouse. Dibs takes the walls off of the dollhouse, expressing a dislike for walls, and Dr. Axline repeats his statements. When time is up, she walks Dibs to his classroom, encouraging him to walk part of the way on his own. She hopes that by providing Dibs with space, safety, and opportunity, he will find confidence and courage.

Dr. Axline calls Dibs’s mother to request permission to have Dibs come to the Child Guidance Center, and when she visits their house, she hears Dibs being locked in his room. Dibs’s mother tells Dr. Axline that she can use Dibs for her research, but that neither she nor her husband is willing to participate. She asks if the study can take place in their home, but Dr. Axline insists it must be done at the Child Guidance Center; Dr. Axline waits weeks for Dibs’s parents to agree. When Dibs arrives at the center, he asks for help with his coat, and then inspects paints. He arranges them in order of the color spectrum and then paints a color wheel by spelling each color in its corresponding color. He calls Dr. Axline “Miss A” and slowly starts to talk to her. Dr. Axline describes Dibs’s actions objectively and repeats what he says without judgment. When the session is over, Dibs throws himself on the floor at the sight of his mother. In his second session, Dibs narrates as he plays with a dollhouse. He makes a basement and draws a lock on the door, using advanced vocabulary to describe what he does. When the session is over, his speech regresses. In his next session, Dibs teeters between infantile and more mature desires, sucking on a baby bottle, playing with water, and burying a toy family in the sand.

Later, Dibs returns to find the toys rearranged, which upsets him; Dr. Axline lets him cope with the idea of changes. When he starts to play, Dr. Axline leaves and observes him through a mirror. Dibs voices anger toward his father, picking up a toy soldier and punching it. When Dibs’s father picks him up, he dismisses Dibs’s attempt at conversation. The next day, Dibs’s mother meets with Dr. Axline and reveals that Dibs was an unplanned child, explaining Dibs’s father’s attitude. When young Dibs started showing signs of emotional issues, a psychologist blamed Dibs’s parents for being neglectful; however, Dibs’s younger sister, Dorothy, doesn’t share Dibs’s issues. Dibs’s mother worries about her son’s happiness and recounts an incident in which Dibs’s father questioned his intelligence. During Dibs’s next session, he paints and notes how the paint represents his thoughts. He takes the walls off the dollhouse and buries them in the sand, and confesses that he hopes Dorothy feels pain at her upcoming vaccination. The next session, he tells Dr. Axline about his family’s trip to the hardware store, and then makes a mountain out of sand. Looking out the window, Dibs suddenly feels small, and marvels at the world around him. The next session, Dibs replicates his town with miniature pieces. He describes the people in the town as lonely and talks about a precious tree that grows outside his window. Dibs’s father insisted on cutting a branch that extended to his window, but the family gardener Jake let him keep the branch. When Dibs misses a week of play therapy because of measles, he comes back happier than ever. He sings songs and thanks Dr. Axline for her get-well card, which inspired positive interactions with his parents. He asks Dr. Axline what therapy is, and she explains it as a means to be oneself. The next session, Dibs sings a song about each color of paint, including associated emotions, memories, objects, and places. He pretends to have a tea party, indicating an interest in playing with others. When he spills a cup, he gets angry at himself, but realizes it was a simple mistake. In his next session, Dibs talks about his mother and shows Dr. Axline his birthday gift: an international code set. He uses it to send a coded message to Dr. Axline, affirming himself as Dibs. In the next session, Dibs tells Dr. Axline that he sometimes fears people, but not her, and that his father seems to like him more lately. Then, he uses dolls to act out his parents being trapped inside a burning house after hurting his feelings, only for a bigger Dibs to save them.

The next session, Dibs talks about the children in his class. Dibs repeats to himself that he is Dibs, and that he likes himself. He makes a mess with paint to demonstrate this, then cleans up. When Dibs’s mother comes to pick him up, he hugs her and expresses his love, shocking her to tears. Dibs’s mother meets with Dr. Axline and expresses gratitude. Dr. Axline receives a call from Dibs’s teachers, who report that he is becoming closer with the other children. The next session, Dibs uses Dr. Axline’s recorder to voice how he feels about his father‘s hatred. He buries a father doll in the sandbox, making it beg for forgiveness. Dibs explains that his father isn’t mean to him anymore, but he still feels the need to punish him. In the next session, Dibs expresses anger toward his sister Dorothy, but mentions that they play together now. He then demands that the mother doll build a mountain out of sand. Despite his anger, he tells Dr. Axline about the gifts he is making for his family. In his penultimate session, Dibs plays with the miniature town as a cohesive unit. During his final session, he adds to his recording, reminding the world that he is Dibs. He plays with the miniature town, making homes for him and Dr. Axline, and putting his family in jail. He looks at the child figure representing himself and replaces it with an adult figure.

After a long summer, Dr. Axline hears that Dibs wants one final visit. He talks about the joy that the playroom brought him, as he is now more confident in himself. He throws a baby bottle, breaking it and saying he no longer needs it. Dibs asks Dr. Axline to take him to the nearby church, and is moved by the size of the building. He asks Dr. Axline why some people believe in God while others don’t, and she replies that it is a choice everyone must make. Two and a half years later, Dr. Axline finds out that Dibs has moved nearby, and they are able to catch up. Dibs remembers his time at the playroom as life-changing. Dr. Axline was so inspired by her time with Dibs that she shared the story in lectures and in her memoir—which had a lasting impact on people in search of themselves, psychologists, and educators. Years later, she hears about Dibs again, and it seems he is growing into a justice-seeking adult who is making use of his abilities and engaging in healthy, meaningful relationships.