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At boarding school, Sinclair reflects on how he felt leaving his family’s home and compares his indifference with his sisters’ sadness at his departure. He claims that he both misses Demian and “[hates] him too” (55). Sinclair spends most of his time at boarding school alone because his classmates deem him as “weird, distant, unpleasant” (55). While spending time in town, an older classmate, Alfons Beck, asks Sinclair to join him for some wine. Sinclair feels happy to have someone to talk to, but he also feels he lacks the same kind of life experience as Beck. Sinclair gets drunk for the first time with Beck, and Beck introduces him to the “wellsprings of pleasure” between men and women (57). Sinclair feels as though engaging with Beck and drinking alcohol negates the religious and pious life that his parents provided for him.
Sinclair begins spending time with Beck and other students who drink and engage in sexual activities with women in the nearby town. He deems himself “a ringleader” for many of the other students and encourages them to take part in his “drinking and running wild” escapades (59). At the same time, he worries for his soul and feels as though he must repent for his actions when he sees a group of children playing on a Sunday afternoon.
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By Hermann Hesse