Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

“The first is your premise, the solid unbending belief that you start off with. What is your premise? Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only.’ Not ‘as long as.’ I matter equally. Full stop.”

This is one of the most rhetorically powerful quotes of the entire book and it comes in the third paragraph. It makes use of a form of asyndeton, which means “unconnected” in Greek. In other words, rather than being written as a single, complete sentence, the conjunctions between each phrase have been omitted and replaced with full stops. The effect is to slow down the rhythm and force the reader to give equal weight to each phrase. The repetition of the words “I matter” also serves to add emphasis. The punchy, uncompromising tone in this paragraph sets the mood for the rest of the book.

“Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.”

There is a tension at the core of the author’s view of motherhood. On the one hand, motherhood is a positive thing and feminists should support women who make the choice to be mothers. At the same time, women should be careful not to subsume their identity under motherhood entirely. In fact, the best thing mothers can do for themselves and for their children is to maintain a sense of identity apart from that of “mother.