Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Content Warning: The text discusses addictive behavior, abuse, and suicidal ideation. The author also uses the now outdated term “crazy” to describe individuals with addictions or compulsive behaviors, as well as to describe some of the behaviors of codependent people.

In this preface to the revised edition of her book Codependent No More, Melody Beattie reflects on its initial publication on Valentine’s Day, 1986. Her neighbor, Terry Spahn, came to collect the manuscript, which she had saved onto a floppy disk using one of the first home computers, the K-Pro.

While the book’s core truths remain valid, some aspects of the language and references have become dated over the past two decades. Beattie highlights the significant societal changes that have occurred since the 1980s, such as the evolving roles of women and the growing interest in self-help and inner lives. Beattie also mentions the need to address the intersection of codependency with trauma, anxiety, and PTSD.

The author shares the profound losses she has faced since the book’s initial publication, including the deaths of her ex-husband, father, and most significantly, her son Shane. These experiences, particularly her son’s death, plunged her into the realm of grief and trauma, shaping her beliefs and inspiring the addition of the new chapter titled “Soothe Yourself” in the revised edition.