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“As siege-hardened as I was before my arrest, the truth was that I had no more courage in January than I had in June—contrary to popular belief, the experience of terror does not make you braver. Perhaps, though, it is easier to hide your fear when you’re afraid all the time.”
This quote reveals Lev’s circumstances prior to his arrest and the quest to find a dozen eggs. We are told that the siege of Leningrad has already endured for months, and we can infer that Lev has been living in terror that entire time. This perhaps explains why he is so preoccupied with cowardice, bravery, and heroism throughout the novel.
“The fierce souls who survived winter after winter in Siberia possessed something I did not, great faith in some splendid destiny, whether God’s kingdom or justice or the distant promise of revenge. Or maybe they were so beaten down they became nothing more than animals on their hind legs, working at their masters’ command […] and dreaming of nothing but the end.”
Sitting in prison after his arrest, Lev ponders how prisoners in Siberia manage to survive the ordeal. The passage addresses the theme of survival in extreme circumstances, with Lev speculating whether these prisoners are sustained by faith or dreams of death. Either way, he asserts that they harbor some fortitude that he lacks himself, which ties into his fixation on cowardice and heroism.
“There was nothing behind Kolya’s blue eyes, neither fear nor anger nor excitement about the prospect of a fight—nothing. This, I came to learn, was his gift: danger made him calm.”
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