Butterfly Boy: Memories of a Chicano Mariposa

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of domestic violence, sexual assault, anti-gay bias, and eating disorders.

Throughout Butterfly Boy, Rigoberto González reflects on his identity as a gay man and the way it is understood by and comes into conflict with the gender and sexual norms and expectations of his Chicano community. As a child and young man, Rigoberto struggles with realizing his desires while having to hide his identity. While there is a form of queerness that is tacitly tolerated by the community, he is not entirely able to conform to it.

Rigoberto’s struggles are not simply connected to his sexual identity but are also largely tied to his expression of masculinity. Rigoberto notes that as long as Chicano men perform a kind of macho gender identity, they are able to realize their gay sexual desires in private without facing overt oppression. Men like his lover Gerardo, who act tough in public and conform to gendered norms of appearance and behavior, are tolerated. However, Rigoberto is too feminine to meet these standards. He explores trying on his mother’s clothes and makeup, he has a high, effeminate voice, and he is uninterested in sports or physical activity.