Butterfly Boy: Memories of a Chicano Mariposa

Butterfly Boy: Memories of a Chicano Mariposa (2006) is a work of nonfiction by Rigoberto González, a gay Chicano writer and editor. Butterfly Boy is a coming-of-age memoir that shifts between timelines to tell the story of Rigoberto and his family. Drawing on connections between place and memory, Rigoberto recounts the history of his family of Chicano migrant agricultural workers crossing back and forth over the US-Mexican border, his relationship with his body and gay identity, and the lingering effects his background has on his life even after he leaves it behind to go to college. González is the winner of multiple literary awards, including the Lambda Literary Award for his poetry collection Unpeopled Eden and The Bill Whitehead Award for Lifetime Achievement.

This guide is based on the 2006 edition published by University of Wisconsin Press as part of their Writing in Latinidad series.

Content Warning: The source material features depictions of sexual assault, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and eating disorders. Additionally, the source material uses offensive terms for gay people and Latino people, which is replicated in this guide only in direct quotes of the source material, which the guide censors.

Summary

Rigoberto describes his journey from Riverside, California, where he is a university student, to Indio, California. There, he meets up with his father to begin a long journey to visit his maternal grandmothers’ family in central Mexico. Rigoberto recounts the abusive relationship he has with his older lover. After a fight, he tells his lover that he is leaving to visit his family in Mexico. His lover appears indifferent, and Rigoberto gets on the bus to Indio alone, feeling hurt by the circumstances of this volatile relationship. He arrives at his paternal grandparents’ house in Indio, California. His grandfather gives him a somewhat cold reception, and soon after, his father, brother, and grandmother arrive. His brother informs Rigoberto that a treasured photograph of his mother and father has been damaged, and Rigoberto and his father get in a fight about it. Chapter 3 is the first of many chapters that are memories told to Rigoberto’s lover. In this one, Rigoberto recalls the time that his father neglected him while playing a concert for his father’s band Dinastía. As a small child, he is hurt that his father is so focused on the crowd that he doesn’t even notice Rigoberto is missing.

In the central narrative, Rigoberto and his father go to the bus station to take the bus to Michoacán, a state in Mexico. Rigoberto wants to get first-class tickets, but his father tricks him by buying second-class tickets and pocketing the change. Once on the bus, Rigoberto’s father asks him if he remembers his mother, prompting a memory about his mother trying to learn how to drive and learn English. Rigoberto’s father tries to connect with him by asking him about his life at college in Riverside, but they cannot relate to one another, and Rigoberto’s father turns to conversing with the people on the bus instead. Rigoberto longs to tell his father about his lover, but resists. Rigoberto tells his lover about a memory he has about his father’s obsession with UFOs. He recognizes this obsession as a form of desire to escape his challenging life.

Rigoberto recounts his childhood growing up in the United States and Mexico and ends by recounting his bus trip in 1990 to Mexico with his father. Rigoberto describes his parents’ courtship and their early married life in Bakersfield, California. He then describes his early years in Zacapu, México, in a home owned by his extended family. In 1979, his father began drinking and abandoned the family to go to the United States, leaving Rigoberto’s mother, brother, and himself destitute and starving. The family moved to Thermal, California, where they initially lived with his paternal grandparents and the extended family in extremely cramped quarters. The family was very poor and Rigoberto was physically abused by his grandfather. Rigoberto’s family moved out of the home to live in an apartment above a garage in Therman. With the support of educators at his school, Rigoberto learned English and began to have a love of reading. His mother fell ill. While she was in the hospital, Rigoberto experimented with trying on her clothes, makeup, and nail polish to explore his femininity and to feel close to her while she was away. Back in the central bus narrative, Rigoberto recalls an instance in which his lover burned him with a cigarette after describing how he was raped by his father, and he thinks about his mother’s funeral. The bus breaks down and Rigoberto has another argument with his father about having purchased second-class tickets.

Rigoberto recalls becoming aware of his gay identity. He tells his lover about his memory of his first confession, during which he was afraid to tell the priest about his gay desires, because in Catholicism these desires are considered sinful. Rigoberto describes the events of his teenage years. When he was 12, his mother had a stroke and was hospitalized. The family moved back to Zacapu so that she could die at home. After her death, he moved in with his paternal grandparents, and his father abandoned him and his brother there. In high school, Rigoberto exceled and had his first lover, but he was extremely lonely.

The narrative details the aftermath of Rigoberto’s mother’s death. His family prayed together on the first Day of the Dead after his mother’s death. Back in the central narrative, Rigoberto and his father arrive in Zacapu. They have breakfast together, and Rigoberto confronts his father about abandoning him. Rigoberto arrives at his maternal grandparents’ house and visits his mother’s gravesite. Later, he has sex with the neighbor boy and decides to return to Riverside.

He returns to Riverside and liberates himself from both his lover and his family. He returns to his lover, who once again abuses him. After a particularly bad fight, Rigoberto finally resolves to walk away from the relationship. He tells his lover about a memory he has of a classmate being excited to see his father at school. The book ends with a wistful, envious note that Rigoberto does not have that kind of relationship with his own father—he doesn’t even know where he is.