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“Further, Albina took action based on that realization. She switched from wishing others were different to working on the one person she could control: herself. She felt negative emotions just like anyone else, but she set about making more conscious choices about how to react to them. The decisions she made—not her primal feelings—led her to try to transform less productive emotions into positive ones such as gratitude, hope, compassion, and humor. She also worked to focus more on the world around her and less on her own problems. None of this was easy, but she got better at it with practice, and it felt more and more natural as the weeks and months went by.”
This quote from the introduction sets up the main points explored in Chapters 1-3 of the book. It also introduces three of the book’s core themes: Individual Agency as a Key to Happiness, The Inextricable Nature of Happiness and Unhappiness, and The Importance of Interpersonal Connection. Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey focus on Albina’s individual agency—the fact that she underwent an internal shift and took control of her life. Moreover, they acknowledge that the path to happiness inherently includes aspects of unhappiness because it requires work and effort. Lastly, the authors hint at the importance of interpersonal connection, asserting that Albina changed her life by focusing more on the outside world and less on herself. As they explain in later chapters, this focus on the outside world involves caring more for others.
“The truth is that both those beliefs, as persuasive as they sound, are false. You can’t be happy—though you can be happier. And your circumstances and your source of unhappiness don’t have to stop you. Here’s what we mean when we say you can’t be happy. Searching for happiness is like searching for El Dorado, the fabled South American city of gold no one has ever found. When we search for happiness, we may get glimpses of what it might feel like, but it doesn’t last.”
In this passage, Brooks and Winfrey deliberately attempt to surprise readers with an ostensibly controversial statement (“You can’t be happy”) in order to challenge the dominant assumptions about happiness itself. The quote starts by rejecting two widespread beliefs: the idea that one can be truly happy and the notion that external circumstances or sources of
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