Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

Using open-ended language, Maya Angelou alludes to the significance of belonging to one’s self above all else. Brown uses Angelou’s quote to suggest what true belonging means in the context of her research—a state in which individuals can find themselves standing alone with their beliefs while still maintaining a connection to something greater than themselves.

“Even in the context of suffering—poverty, violence, human rights violations—not belonging in our families is still one of the most dangerous hurts. That’s because it has the power to break our heart, our spirit, and our sense of self-worth.”

What Brown identifies in this quote is the high price of braving the wilderness—the aversive fear of not belonging is deeply affective. While fitting in is not an ideal state, many individuals choose it over the heartbreak of not belonging. Our people, families, and tribes are critical to our individual and collective identities. As a result, true belonging must acknowledge the risks one takes when finding the courage to stand alone.

“Never underestimate the power of being seen—it’s exhausting to keep working against yourself when someone truly sees and loves you.”

When we are seen, known, and understood, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a narrative of alienation or self-alienation. To be seen and loved is to know that one belongs, and to have this kind of intimate knowledge of love and acceptance helps individuals take the required risks when practicing