48 pages • 1 hour read
Content Warning: This section contains graphic depictions of cannibalism and violence.
“There’s no point in thinking about these things when there’s nothing you can do to change any of it. What’s done is done.”
Maren’s mother deflects Maren’s questions about Penny Wilson. There is no sense in regretting what happened to her because it cannot be undone. Maren’s actions may not be her fault, but she can’t help but wish that there was a different way to be. However, this fatalism also makes it difficult for Maren to have any hope. If there is no way to change, and she associates happiness with a life free of her urges, then Maren can’t be happy.
“For three hours I lost myself in the story the way I could in my favorite books. I was beautiful and brave, someone destined to love and to survive, to be happy and to remember. Real life held none of those things for me, but in the pleasant darkness of that shabby old theater I forgot it never would.”
While watching Titanic on her 16th birthday, Maren wishes her life could be more like the lives of the characters in the stories she loves. She doesn’t know how to look forward to anything, given her nature. Because of its lack of monsters, the movie allows her to become a desired hero, something that the fairy tales never give her.
“What was I expecting? Somebody like me could never be the good one.”
Maren is disappointed that she only identifies with monsters in stories. She knows that she—like the witches, ghouls, and trolls—will never have a happy ending. She will never be the protagonist in a story, not even her own. Maren has no hope because she thinks she deserves to be punished. She also thinks about herself in absolutes, frequently using words like “never” and “always.
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