Bone

Fone approaches Phoney, who’s running a betting booth with a long line. Fone admonishes Phoney for running what he immediately recognizes as a scam.

That night, Thorn dreams that four hooded figures and a young girl are passing through the desert. They hear sounds approaching. One of the figures tells the other three to go back and presses onward with the child in tow. The figure tells her she will be safe in Deren Gard and leaves her with the Red Dragon. The Red Dragon leads her to a cave, where several other dragons are waiting.

Thorn shakes Fone awake and tells him she’s had another weird dream—one she has had since childhood. Grandma Ben always told her that dragons didn’t exist, which she now knows was a lie. She and Fone read Smiley’s map, and she tells him that she believes she drew it as a child.

Thorn she isn’t certain whether her dream is a memory or a figment of her imagination: “If it wasn’t for the map, I’d swear I’d been with Gran’ma Ben since the day I was born” (193). Thorn and Fone agree to show Grandma the map after the cow race and resolve to keep it a secret until then.

On the morning of the race, everyone gathers at the tavern. Grandma overhears Jon Oaks and a few other villagers—Wendell and Euclid—discussing their bets for the upcoming race. They’re all betting on the Mystery Cow. This depresses her. Lucius gives her a pep talk, with which Phoney concurs. Grandma and Lucius find his behavior suspicious.

Lucius asks Jon and the others if any of them have actually seen the Mystery Cow, and they haven’t. They corner Phoney and demand to see the cow.

Fone is reading Moby Dick by the edge of the woods. Ted asks him why he doesn’t tell Thorn he likes her, but Fone says he’s too shy. Ted encourages him to write her a love poem instead. Fone agrees, and Ted leaves him to work. Unbeknownst to them, the Stupid Rat Creatures are stalking Fone from afar, deciding whether to capture him for Kingdok or eat him themselves.

Phoney has directed the men from the tavern to a barn covered in signs that say things like “Turn back!,” “Mad cow!,” and “Beware!” Inside, Smiley is screaming “Moo!” and smashing things with a mallet. The men are scared off of getting a closer look.

The chapter ends with a splash page: Fone’s things are lying abandoned where we last saw him.

At Phoney’s betting booth, Lucius bets the Barrel Haven Tavern on Grandma: “I understand th’ payoff is a hundred to one! [...] for your sake… ol’ buddy… you better have the funds to cover that bet!” (219). Phoney informs Smiley that he’ll have to win the race in order to pull off their scam and climbs into the cow costume just as the race starts.

As the race progresses, Fone runs through the woods with the rat creatures close behind him. A comical chase scene ensues.

The racers round a bend above a rocky gulch and topple over the ledge, landing in a nest of rat creatures. Phoney and Smiley scramble away just before Fone sprints past, followed by several dozen rat creatures. The rats are led on a collision course with the racing cows.

When the spectators see the rat creatures running amongst the cows, panic ensues. Grandma sprints for the finish line and wins the race, although no one is there to see her victory. She announces that this was “th’ best cow race ever!” and rolls up her sleeves (238), resolving to “get her hands” on the Bone Cousins (238).

Lucius, Thorn, Grandma, and the Bones are traveling through the forest on a wagon. Phoney has been tied to a stake. After the race, the villagers formed an angry mob and pelted him with eggs.

Lucius informs Smiley and Phoney that they’ll work off their debts by doing chores at the tavern and Grandma’s farm until further notice. The woods are dangerous at night. Smiley suggests that the Red Dragon might protect them, but Lucius rebuffs the idea.

The Red Dragon monitors them. The Hooded One is also watching from a distance, unnoticed. Elsewhere, the Stupid Rat Creatures hide in shallow hole.

At the farm, Grandma and Lucius discuss the damage to her farmhouse and the severity of the attack. They discuss the Bone Cousins’ involvement in the debacle, and Grandma assures him that they don’t have any better an idea of what’s going on than anyone else. They also discuss the Red Dragon:

Lucius: So, little Fone Bone really does know about the dragon!

Grandma: Thorn does, too.

Lucius: Told her th’ rest?

Grandma: I haven’t decided what to do, Lucius. She might be in more danger than she knows! She hasn’t reached the turning yet (255).

Fone takes the first watch while the others go to sleep.

This is a short, comical chapter in which Lucius and Smiley fix the roof. Smiley makes a good-faith attempt to help Lucius in this task, but his air-headedness irritates the tavernkeeper to the point that Lucius snaps the rope supporting his weight and topples to the ground.